Triggered

" I can not imagine what these people are going through. 

It is mostly the packers on the floor, almost all women"

A dear friend has organized a shipment to her company's packing plant just outside Houston.

She put a call out for supplies and she would ship them tomorrow.

So a bunch of us have gathered things and

 have been dropping them off at her door, since last night.

I went out this morning and got two huge bags of supplies.

Soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste, pads, baby wipes, dog leashes and harnesses, and socks.

I felt a deep trigger when I grabbed multiple packs of little kid and baby socks.

I almost didn't include them but then let the sorrow wash over me and went deeper and 

thought of the parents that just want dry socks on their kids feet.

Natural disasters like the ones we are experiencing are hard to process.

They leave us feeling so fragile and helpless.

I made a donation to a local animal shelter too...so many animals have been impacted too!

Then there is the flooding in India and Nepal and I am lost again.

I sent a text to The Barren:

" I feel so emotionally spent, I need to calm down and focus "

So, I came here.

I feel like a puddle of myself.

How do you process so much grief around you and inside yourself as well?

Pride in the journey

So The Barren is growing in his grief...he is learning to identify his triggers.

That is HUGE

He was at work learning some new stuff for his current role and a new parent was talking about how thankful they were to have some time off work and it was supported by the employer.

I got a text message saying:

" HR was talking about paid family leave and out of nowhere I find myself about to break down...doing OK now, but it was touch and go for a moment"

After work he met with him mom and they were chatting and she started to ask about all our friends with kids and how we must hang out with them and play with their kids...

He spoke up and said, you know we often need to protect ourselves from our triggers and make sure we are alright with going to an event or party. We often skip them so that we can relax and enjoy our afternoon too. He told her about the event earlier in the day.

She was flustered, and out of no where asked if we were thinking about adoption.

to which The Barren said NO

He thinks she was not sure how to deal with suddenly witnessing his grief 

...I think she just needed to get a question off her chest.

Regardless, I am beyond proud of him and his new ability to speak up about things that trigger his sorrow and memories. He is making progress and that is to be applauded.