Love to you all

 

I have my spiked cider and gingerbread in hand...toasting you all and wishing you a sweet and intoxicating holiday.

May the road be less bumpy from here.

xoxoxox

Thankful Thursday

It is thankful Thursday again and I am feeling good and thankful and still serene

...but maybe a little tired.

 

My Brother (I forgot his title, I think I called him the Earl) has a "Mayan calendar countdown clock" on his desktop here at work and every time he is at his desk he announces how many more hours until the end of the world.

If he has calculated right, it will be sometime around 2 or 3 am, so I will be with who I want to be with for the end of time....if it happens.

For that I am thankful.

 

We had three "earthquakes" here this morning...being a native to earthquake land, I went into drop and cover mode without a thought and waited for the earth to continue to shake...it didn't...

and then the news agency released an

" official statement" from the U.S. Geological Survey telling the local  News the shaking and boom seems to have been caused by a "sonic signal not an earthquake." He continued to say that the object is most likely an aircraft heading north and that preliminary reports show it reaching 2,000-plus miles per hour.

Then three military helicopters flew over the area and then

Shortly there after, there was a statement from the Local Air Force Base stating there were F-22's doing things along the coast.

The conspiracy theory's are all over the place right now...

I am thankful I am heading home soon...and away from the crazies.

 

but a little concerned that there will be a whale washing ashore soon or a pod of dolphin showing up somewhere wrong because of these "signals" *sigh*

 

I decorated the house last weekend, we have a tree that smells yummy and is covered with handmade ornaments. The twinkle lights are up and the holiday picture cards are coming in...little faces amongst images of my aging friends.

 It doesn't seem to hurt so much looking at those families...this year...

I am thankful for my quiet home, my obsessive cats that demand time from us

and space to relax on our laps.

I am thankful for the ability to make our own chaos and make bad food choices

I am thankful to sleep in late and spoil other peoples children

I am thankful to have a little extra coin to give to others and make cookies for neighbors

I am thankful for The Barren, loving me to uniquely and deeply.

 

I am thankful this Thursday

So if tomorrow is the end of the world, I am glad I had this place and time.

If not, The Barren owes his college roommate $20

 

 





Silence

I woke up early to bake a pie on Friday, as I needed to go into the "big city" to pick up some artwork. I was in a light mood and was keeping busy.

I turned on the news and texted The Barren and then the news hit...and I sat there in shock.

I felt the same way watching the news come in on September 11th....

glued and scared to leave for fear something worse would happen.

What could be worse...

as the news was pouring in, I sat there in a puddle of my own tears

and the first thing that came to mind was:

At least one of those children was an assisted pregnancy.

I felt so deeply for those parents.

I don't know if that is the case, I just went there first.
I guess that is how I connected to those children, and their parents.

 

I have stayed away from the news all weekend, instead spending time with The Barren smiling and loving each other.

Both of us fearful of seeing anymore...our hearts can not bear the loss.

 

This morning as I was waiting for my hot caffeinated drink, I picked up the Wall Street Journal and it had published the faces of those lost.

It took all my power to not collapse into a puddle at the sight of those faces.

As calmly as I had picked up the paper, I placed it back into the rack...heartbroken and at all loss.

I have returned to my mantras, and my projections of love.
I feel compelled to push energy into the air, like I want to push the pendulum in the opposite direction, using all my will and strength...if I can just smile more, hug more, touch more it will mean something. In someway.

Wordless Wednesday

camera phone images from last weekends AMAZING opening night

I will write more about it later:

 

Marquee wall
(one piece can be seen in the square black frame)

view of second piece from the crowd
(I marked it with a little red dot, as it sold shortly after the show opened)

opposite side of the gallery...packed as well

people pointing at my work

view of the waning crowd after two and a half hours
(camera shot overhead)

 



The Ball on Thankful Thursday

Tonight is the BIG art event that I made my "goal" to be ready for

when I was preparing for surgery and visualizing the future beyond the event.
I am feeling a lot like myself...plus still euphorically grateful and mellow.
 

I'm not gonna lie, I spent a good portion of last night going through outfit options...

I even stopped at a shop I had seen a cute skirt at months ago thinking "why not get something new?" The skirt I had seen was long gone...and so I went home to look through my options.

What I settled on is a pencil skirt and retro sweater....black and black with a white collar.

Slim fit, and I had to just let go of the fact that, although I feel lighter, there doesn't seem to be an outward reflection of that. I will wear my glee as the shinny accessory!

I am a classic hourglass/pear girl...considering that I come from thick stocked women that are all shaped like apples my pear shape is an anomaly.

I recently recall  hearing an interview that studied people and how they responded to certain shaped people. Hourglass/pear shaped women made people evoked associations with power and sexuality.

I used that as a mantra to love my body even more.
I was able to finally get the last glue to give up it's hold on my skin and it revealed my new button.
I now have an innie AND an outie!
Another new element for my rebirth!

 

Tonight is work: socializing mixed with business. It involves a lot of talking about methods of making and expressions of emotions, processes. Purpose and drive, vision and execution.

I have to be very present and very engaged.
The last two years I have been part of this event have been like old school New York art openings. There are three to four people between you and the work, the place is packed and filled with energy and beautiful people. Amazing people watching, and electricity!
 

It also requires a lot of your body, in social parties there is often a place to sit, or a little rest spot to escape to. For me, I commit to the whole night, from open to close, I am there to talk about my work and learn who people are, how they are connected to each other, get cards and hear what they are seeing, making or thinking about work.

This evening will require me to be standing in heels on a cement floor for three plus hours being engaged and social. I have a few dear friends that are planning on coming up to see the circus.

I am excited about it, and when they said
"we know you are working so we will just wave"
I begged them to please not do that...as my friend you allow me to take a break,
 they will be the little seat and room to breathe.

I am so looking forward to what this evening celebrates, and marks for me.
I have made it, and it is gonna be a party from now on!

Winter

This western girl is happy that there has been rain recently.

My daydreams have me thinking about Paris and how magical winter can be in places

where there are seasons: