|photo by Mary Ellen Mark|
It has been a strange cycle...
and it seems to have revealed why.
I have miscarried again.
I am quite confused and shocked
I have been bleeding since last week.
and then last night it changed and this morning it was all tissue
...lots and lots of tissue.
I have some cramping, and I feel numb.
In fact it has been so long I looked up the signs, just to see if I was imagining them.
I have all them...textbook perfect early miscarriage.
The Barren is traveling for work, and although I want to tell him,
today is a busy one for him and he doesn't need to be worried about me.
My bestie is at work too...so I don't need to tell her yet.
So I am here, telling you.
I didn't think I'd have another
experience this again, and the weird numbness that goes with it
I have been on my pill for three days, but the bleeding hasn't stopped.
I hope it will taper off now.
I will skip yoga tonight, and wait for the bleeding to ease up.
I am just going to be quiet and kind to myself.
I have studio work to do, that is not hard or vigorous.
I am okay
and maybe a little sad too
I think I am trying to hold it together until I can cry into a shoulder.