With the combination of the election and the fire and mudslide
I was fitted with a mouth guard that I wear at night
because I am grinding my teeth at night.
So badly, I chipped a tooth.
I have been wearing it every night, but have made a point
as of late, to wear it even more
I am furious, I can feel it in every bone and oozing from every pore.
I have never been so ashamed to be an american.
The amount of sexism, racism, xenophobia, and blatant hate is inexcusable!
The government in place is a total embarrassment.
The old white men have had too much power and all this bullshit
has carried over into what might be a liar elected into the SCOTUS.
I watched Dr. Ford give her testimony, and I watched Brett cry and scream his.
I watched too much....
I have since turned off the news 100%
I vote and thankfully am in a state where my representatives feel the same way I do about
Brett and women'r rights, health and immigration and take the time to answer the phones when I call in and thank them for supporting or voting against things that are brought up.
I have had emails answered and these women do not run away from their constituents
they listen and respond.
Like responsible representatives.
That being said
after watching Dr.Ford, I experienced for the first time a true whole body trigger.
I remembered my assaults with great details.
I told The Barren for the first time, in our 26 years together,
about the first one when I was about 8 years old.
Only my parents and my therapist(who was treating my grief from infertility) know about it,
and they never mention it.
My father told me( at 8 years old) after hearing and seeing who did it that
" I had an active imagination, and that this never happened"
So I buried it deep
Angry and confused as to why he chose to not believe me
I also told The Barren about another one that happened
when I was a teenager, that no one knew about...
except me and the people involved.
He was deeply shook, and super supportive about being brave enough to tell him.
He knows about my sexual harassment incidents
from workplaces that have happened since...
Dr.Ford made me remember
She made me strong enough to share my story
she reminded me that these situations are not me, I am stronger and bigger than them.
They are nothing to be ashamed of
and nothing I did and nothing I need to carry responsibility for
I think I will keep wearing my pride
and wearing my mouth guard until this world is turned right side up again.
the future is female