Echos and debris

****Trigger Warning****
Miscarriage

photo credit


"internal echos and debris in the uterus"

The ultrasound tech told me that she thought it looked like I had a molar pregnancy.

I didn't know what this was and had to look it up.
There was nothing there now...

I still had blood and tissue in my endometrial lining and 

I should expect to keep spotting until my body either absorbs or expels the rest.

She use to be a midwife overseas, and specialized in high risk pregnancy

When the call came from the doctors office came 

 I was emotionally stable to listen to what they had to say.

which was: 

We don't see anything

one of your fibroids grew a millimeter

If something changes call us

The techs theory made sense to me and I am sticking with that one.

Since then, trying to resume a normal brainwave has been a struggle.

I got results from the doctor on the 23rd of last week and as the week rounded out my urethra

started to hurt/burn. So my Saturday morning I was in the walk in clinic.

I waited a good hour for the pee test, and then another half an our to be "seen"

The nurse that took me in took my vitals and asked questions.

No expression on her face.

She had me sit on the exam table behind a big curtain that she drew around me.

I sat there for another 15 minutes staring at the curtain and shaking, 

only hearing the nurse and doctor type on keyboards.

Then at one point I heard the doctor say my name, and the nurse whisper

She recently had a miscarriage...

At that point from behind the curtain I hear the doctor start to ask the question 

"how far along were you"

and appear from behind the curtain.

I told him early, I didn't even know I was, until I wasn't.

I am I still spotting.

He then said why are you here?

I told him my urethra hurt, not my bladder and I was concerned I might have the beginning of a UTI 

I had taken that urinary pain reliever stuff and aside from some minor relief it didn't do much.

He told me that my pee showed blood,  which makes sense if I am still spotting
but that there were no white blood cells...

blood is an irritant and if I hadn't been sexually active recently, that is the most likely culprit.

Did I have any back pain? I said yes

Then he took a single finger, and barely touched me

to point out to me the kidney area of my back.

Saying kidney issues are on one side only....bilateral pain it muscle.

He then swooped behind the curtain and told me he is calling in a prescription for an antibiotic to cover our bases and will culture my urine in case something didn't show on the dipstick test...

and then that was it.

No hello, so medical questions

just some pee and a finger touch

I left feeling totally numb

The Barren was with me this time and we ate something and picked up the drugs
and I went home and crawled into bed and slept for two hours.

Ideally this is the last of the complications

I can not emotionally take anything else thrown at me.