Transitions

*** talking about pregnancy ***

A dear woman whom I have known for years just announced that she was pregnant. She waited until she was 5 months along before making a photo thing on social media.

This dear woman has been through the gamut of things to get here and it is really no small feat.

I first was introduced to her through another woman who asked me if my stomach was swollen from my cysts or fibroids...

The new mom to be had a large fibroid eventually removed and then for years later battled earth shattering pain with every period and post every surgery.

She got a really fantastic job, got engaged and bought a home...all while trying time and time again, almost every treatment under the sun to get pregnant....

today was the announcement that she is indeed carrying a child.

I read the news this morning and was happy for her.

Like she made the swim across the crocodile infested waters and crawled up the shore on the other side bruised and battered but successful! 

If the mantra for motherhood is that you need to have

" Sacrificed yourself, via pain and determination and drive. 

this woman  has checked all those " she deserves" to be a mother boxes.

I know this was all she wanted and will be amazing at tackling all the new unknowns coming her way with grace and humor.

While eating breakfast with The Barren this morning I told him, that it is becoming a testament to who can afford the trials gets the kid. The industry has boomed since we were trying and although we opted to not invite the "making " of a child, it appears that that is what is needed in all these newest cases; or that is what we are given the impression.

When the doctor finally confirmed my endo, she said that we would need A LOT of help to get pregnant if we still were considering that route.

We had come to terms with where our line was long ago, 

but I am not going to lie and say that that quiet little voice did not whisper into my ear this morning

  " maybe if you had...., if you would have...."

I am glad I made extra baby gifts when preparing last weeks shower delivery.

I don't need to spend the day making more things...they are made and simply need to be packed up and mailed off.

I also said to The Barren this morning:

" I am no longer there any more, I am not sure I could fair the battle again. I mean how many times do you have to be kicked before you decide you don't like being kicked?!"

The Barren responded "once"
I simply smiled and said , well if you are lucky you realize that... it took me a bit longer.