My birthday is around the corner and while speaking to my mother,
I expressed that I had no problem with my age.
I explained that in my mind, this milestone number
will release me from all sorts of things...
but mostly THE PEP TALK statement
" there is still time to try and have kids, don't give up!"
I am done with people telling me to not give up, keep trying
and that there is still time.
I am actually feeling kind of soapboxy about it lately.
I've spent years waiting, trying and watching life go by
as I pinned my hopes on something that wasn't going to happen.
Actually now is the time to LIVE
I don't want to give up on me, on us, on what we still have left!
My mother seemed a little emotional about my revolutionary call to arms.
I see her watch me ever so closely when I have a little rant or rave.
I have done this since I was a child...but not until recently was I ever really heard
( that took loads of therapy to figure out)
So when I see her watch me, I see her witnessing her reality of time
and how long ago she was
a young (she was 22 when I came into being) mom
and all the hopes and dreams she had for me.
She declared " this is quite a milestone for you then isn't it"
I changed the subject, as I didn't want her to become a puddle of tears.
We then talked about our daily practice of our power poses, was she doing her "wonder woman"?
We had seen a TED talk together all about changing your mindset by simply holding these power poses for 2-5 minutes a day or before a big stressful event.
I have been trying to "re-educate" my mother on her feminist theory as it seems to be slipping away as she ages. Reminding her that she still possesses power and a valid voice.
I told her I had come across
a photo of myself that my grandmother had, that had me in this same pose.
I have been holding this pose for decades,
I was meant to be strong
powerful and brave!
I am going to be a 45 year old woman!
who still wants to be Wonder Woman