Krampus

 

In order to make my latest adventure to the ER more manageable and less scary...I thought about what this flare might have looked like, what kind of personality did it have and I came up with this.

Big Flamboyance

I was up at 1:30am awoken with stomach tightening, that turned into a 12 hour saga of regular contractions and wave of nausea making all fuel leave my body, and leave me unable to form thoughts, drink water or even cry. That alone wouldn't get me to the ER, it was the pain in my lower abdomen that got me there fearing it was my appendix. Thinking the worse of the worst scenarios. 

Well, lucky for me, there was a lonnnnnnnnng wait to get a room in the ER. Our local hospital only allows the patients in the ER waiting room, having their companions wait in a separate section of the hospital until a room is assigned. The Barren was near but not with me while we waited for 3 hours to get a room. During that time, the ER filled with sick babies, lots of sick babies that sounded like seals barking. People having seizures and others puddled moaning in the chairs. I meanwhile was seating curled into a in fetal ball trying to not think about how much I was feeling past trauma, how I just wanted to go home, hold The Barren's hand and how silly I felt being there. (reduce yourself to make space for others much?) 

The Barren meanwhile was in the perfect spot to see all the new parents leaving the hospital with their babies in tow. So he was having just as much fun.

I think it was hour two, when I remembered I was just learning a healing mantra in my meditation class. I started trying to remember the words, I forgot some, then remembered them, then jostled the order, but I figured if I got any of them wrong it was still a good thing...I was focusing my breathing and mind on something that wasn't my pain, fear, or embarrassment.

Om tare tuttare ture mama ayru punye janana pushtim kuru soha

White Tara healing mantra

*****

At the three hour mark, I was called into a room and The Barren was ushered in separately. I met the doctor for a hot second, he determined that based off my blood and urine, it was not a blockage, rip or my appendix. I was given a cup of water to see if I could drink water again, anti-nausea drugs and IV fluids. The nurse, who was a totally cool dude with pink on the ends of his long hair, said that he believed what I was experiencing was peristalsis and because I was slightly dehydrated, I most likely could feel it more than normal. Then he unloaded some other cool facts like, the smell and taste I experience when the line is flushed before I get my infusions is actually genetic, and not everyone has that ability, and it is actually the blood flowing through my olfactory...anyways it was pretty cool. I got a call from my GI doctor right after the IV of fluids was placed and he called in a prescription for more anti nausea medication. (I was super thankful he was a rockstar like that).....this new diagnosis has a steep learning curve, and what I was experiencing was a flare. There is really no known causes for them, and it takes practice to learn the cues of one coming. So ideally I'll be fortified knowing mine tend to last for 24 hours and then subside, but can hurt like a mother when they are here.

When the IV was done, I felt re-booted and went home to shower and eat two tablespoons of sweet potato and go to bed. 

As I was eating said sweet potato, I asked what the date was and it was the 5th! The 5th of December....and I realized just then, that I had been battling the KRAMPUS....and I won.