| **Trigger warning** miscarriage  |
| photo by Mary Ellen Mark |
It has been a strange cycle...
and it seems to have revealed why.
I have miscarried again.
I am quite confused and shocked
I have been bleeding since last week.
and then last night it changed and this morning it was all tissue
...lots and lots of tissue.
I have some cramping, and I feel numb.
In fact it has been so long I looked up the signs, just to see if I was imagining them.
I have all them...textbook perfect early miscarriage.
The Barren is traveling for work, and although I want to tell him,
today is a busy one for him and he doesn't need to be worried about me.
My bestie is at work too...so I don't need to tell her yet.
So I am here, telling you.
I didn't think I'd have another
experience this again, and the weird numbness that goes with it
I have been on my pill for three days, but the bleeding hasn't stopped.
I hope it will taper off now.
I will skip yoga tonight, and wait for the bleeding to ease up.
I am just going to be quiet and kind to myself.
I have studio work to do, that is not hard or vigorous.
I am okay
just stunned
and maybe a little sad too
I think I am trying to hold it together until I can cry into a shoulder.
4 comments:
Oh, Barreness, I'm so so sorry. It's such a kick in the teeth, when you were embracing your life as it is. To be reminded in this way ... that sucks.
Sending hugs. (And I'm ready to chat if you need someone.)
I'd like you to see a doctor, just to confirm that your hcg levels are dropping - six years volunteering on an ectopic website makes me hypervigilant - and especially if your bleeding continues (just to ensure it completes).
Oh my, I am so very sorry. :( Please do see a doctor, as Mali suggests, if only to document this for your medical history. Many (((hugs))) & warm thoughts being sent your way.
I am so far behind on any blog reading, but just got to this one. I'm so so sorry. I know it's been some weeks now (months even), but I hope I hope you are doing OK. <3
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