Monday, October 10, 2016

Time marches on


Ducklings in paper dresses....lets start here.

I have been wanting to write here.

I just got back from a weekend visit with my bestie.
We live several hundred miles apart and so visiting often is quite involved.
This time, we made arrangements a month+ ahead of time 
and I got an AirBnB 
and had The Barren take an extra day off to recover from the travel time.

When we arrived we hit the ground running.
My bestie talked my ear off <3 p="">
She was sooooooooo excited to see me that she just kept talking and talking and talking....
It was great and exhausting.
I ate like a queen, 
and covered The Barren in kisses of appreciation 
for making and supporting the time away.

The Barren was recovering/processing of sorts, 
from a sudden and unexpected death of a coworker.
This time together was needed.

We spent the time away talking and being quiet and just being.
Bestie has a child, who we are close with and who is the most well adjusted 
young person I have ever known.
He is an only child and has been treated as a human from day one 
and it is reflected in his mood and demeanor.
The Barren and I are listed as caregivers should something horrible happen to his parents.
He was able to choose, and we were happy to be those people for him.
So it is all legal and stuff...
He is growing up fast and has landed firmly into tweenhood
Time marches on

I got this photo in my email today:
"do you recognize the blanket"
I made that blanket for her older brother as a baby shower gift.
It was a reminder of how far down this road I have traveled.
How long ago I was making blankets for friends babies, and wishing for my own.
Like a moving meditation, make a blanket, earn more points to me getting a baby of my own.
The above child was conceived while I was having miscarriages and I threw her mother a shower, thinking I could still do it all. 
Once this little lady was born, I told her mom (who I've known since we were 14yrs old)
that I could not be what she needed of me...
she has respected that and we send hellos every once in a while.
Time marches on

Then today I also got an email asking if someone could use an image from my Infertility Art Exhibition....this exhibition was 6 years ago and I am still getting requests for image use.
time marches on

Here I am three weeks away from my first miscarriage anniversary and I am getting reminders of how long ago we left the path for parenthood but also how far we have traveled.
Time marches on

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Love the ducklings!
I have come to understand that my 40s was when I truly perceived what existing really was about. How easily it can be lost, the dreams that will never be realised, the long and hard trek living with our disappointments.
Just ‘being’ can be tiring sometimes. The years fly by way too quickly, away from the failures and setbacks and back into living again, before we even realise it has happened.

I love your “time marches on” catchphrase. This was a lovely post.