Tuesday, April 29, 2014

My plate is full

clearly my essential oils to "magnify my purpose" are working

So I am busy...really crazy busy, 
like so busy I am paralyzed and unable to decide which task to do first kind of busy
.....ever been that way?

I have 10 pieces to frame for upcoming shows that all pretty much need to be done by this weekend.
That is a lot of mat board and math and frame
I can totally do it but for some reason I feel compelled to sit and eat tortilla chips and watch some horrible television instead. What am I doing!!

This last weekend I had some friends over to eat some cake and make me smile...it worked
My father even participated in a music jam session...so the house was filled with sound and laughter.
it was nice...really nice and a great cherry to the weekend before sundae that I was still digesting.
I ate and loved fiddle head fern
as well as everything else that got shoved into my pie-hole

I am currently over committing myself to friends:
I made hand printed coasters for the bride and groom
the back side has three different designs too
I also volunteered, well didn't say no to a bride to be friend, who has asked me to make the cakes for her upcoming wedding (end of the month) and shoot the official photos of the day...yeah,sigh.
and help with all the other stuff that is coming up too....
Last night she sent a HUGE list of things she wants done the day of or the day before...
you know when I would be baking and sweating and freaking out over her wedding cake stuff....
and I want to help but I am a little overwhelmed...in fact so much so I didn't answer her email yet. 
In all fairness it was sent to three people besides me...who all are helping too.
I think that is my latest response to being overwhelmed: waiting...pausing.
In reflection that is probably a really good thing, because if I say something RIGHT away I would most likely add more to my already full plate of commitments and then really feel like taking to a cave and hiding.
I will answer her...I just need to slowly read it all again and figure it out.

I know I am gonna get it all done, and the pressure will be something that I don't like but I can do it and it will be completed and good events will follow suit...but until then....I can vent here and in the tub at night.

I have also been reflecting on being child free...someone asked me at the gym the other day if I had kids.
I simply said nope
She was kind of unsure what to say so she said "well kids aren't for everyone"
I just smiled
I use to answer, no, I have cats....but I was finding that it was a cop-out...like: no, but the cats are just as good. So this was the first time I got to say what I really felt.
I was OK with it, no need to overshare, or be snarky or drop an emo bomb...
It felt comfortable and right.
I watch my SIL juggle a little one and two others and see her still trying to be herself and a wife.
I am thankful for that...both all she is doing and that I am not juggling all that too!
That is a huge step I think for myself...I am really finding comfort again in my self.

On a side note:

This is what I got from my mom and pop on my birthday...
yep, baked goodies and a fresh skull from an owl pellet
I love that the randomness in my life is coming back!


Mali said...

I love the coasters!

I think being the Official Photographer is a huge commitment as it is, let alone making the wedding cakes as well. I mean, the main things you need to get sorted in a wedding (other than the dress) are a) venue, b) catering, c) photography, and d) wedding cake. Not a lot else is critical to a wedding, and yet you're doing HALF of those things single handed. You're saving her a huge amount of money - I hope she realises that these contributions are her wedding present! And being the official photographer isn't a job you "only" do on the day - it takes a lot of planning in advance (the shots, who will be in them, etc) to ensure the day goes smoothly. And then there's the follow-editing/sorting too. There's a reason that wedding photography is expensive!

I know that if I took on anything else to do, in addition to the photography and wedding cake, I would start to feel stressed and resentful. And you don't want to feel that way on her big day.

Amel said...

Beautiful coasters!!!! Seems that you really have a lot on your plate. ALL THE BEST for you! :-)

I agree with Mali that you're saving the bride a huge amount of money.

I remember being designated as the photographer at FIL's funeral. I was rather anxious because I had never been to a funeral here before, so I had no idea how it would be like (when it'd be appropriate to take photos, didn't want to miss the important moments, etc.). But all's well that ends well. Phew!