Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Here Ye, Here Ye


So I finally told my parents about the surgery.
I told them on Halloween
The Barren suggested I just start the conversation with
" I am having surgery"
I was working on not puking on the ride over or while knocking on the front door.
I took his suggestion and I got their attention.
I adore my parents, but have spent almost all of my life trying to be heard by them.
I have a long history of speaking up, but being dismissed, or not heard, literally.
So The Barrens suggestion was a good one, as they fell silent and allowed me
to explain what was going on.
The Viscount (my father) fell pale, and got very quiet. I became emotional.
The Viscountess (my mother) sat with her hands between her knees, lips tight and engaged.
I calmly explained what was going to happen and when and they listened.
Then asked a few questions and then said they heard me and respected my boundaries.
I told them I was not going to make an announcement to the family, that I welcomed them to share the information as it might allow them feel better or allow them to process the information better.

The Viscount then proceeded to not say a word for the next 24 hours, not to his wife, myself or anyone else.
The Viscountess took my advice and spoke to a friend about how she was feeling, and said it allowed her to feel weigh lifted from her shoulders.
She then directed her attention to her husband and he finally said:
" I am just focusing on being positive. I want this to all be OK"
The Viscount has called me everyday since Halloween to tell me that he loves me and is thinking about me. He normally does this every few days, but now it is daily.
Last nights call was a dozy sweet dreams phone call.

The Viscountess has now divulged to me that she feels useless and unneeded in this whole thing. I am currently trying to find something "special for just her" to do post surgery that will let her know how needed and important her presence is.

I am very thankful that I have parents that want to be very much supportive of this step in my life, and friends that are wanting to help anyway they can...even encouraging me to cry.

I had my EKG this morning, as one of the two pre-op tests that need to be done before my pre-op meeting. I was fine until the nurse was hooking up the electrodes to my ankle when she asked so what are you going in for...and I had to say the words out loud to a stranger.
" I am most likely having my left ovary removed because an enodmetrioma is being a little bitch"
she giggled
I said "I am sorry but I'm really scared and I didn't want to have to do this."
She told me she understood how scary it is to make these choices. She then shared her personal struggle to keep all of her reproductive system in the face of a dozen+ fibroids and post ablation.
She said it is an important fight, but we have to remember that we want to be around to fight it.
I agreed and we did my EKG.


Nicole said...

oh dear lady. i cried when i read this entry.

it is SO hard to tell parents this stuff, and for some reason reading about you telling your parents made me cry.

I feel so much for you right now as this is a scary thing you are about to undergo.

At first, I didn't want my mom to come to Austin for my hysterectomy, but I finally said OK. She was so awesome to have there. She took care of my cat while Ross spent the night at the hospital with me. Then, my mom would come to the hospital during the day and hang out. That was the best. She was so helpful. Depending on how this goes for you, I can tell you, you will be really sore and what not and getting out of bed will suck. So, just having your mom around to bring you food and stuff will be really nice. So, that's a thought on how she could help you. I wish I lived closer so I could come visit you after all this. But you are in my thoughts and I hope this all has the best possible outcome for you my dearest.

hugs, and love. xoxoxo.

Clarinda @ Enjoying the Course said...

I am happy to hear that you have the love and support of your family.