Molehill

 

I tried something new last week.
I did my meditation practice in the park, 

with my teacher and other students, 
at a social distance+, 

while wearing a mask the whole time.

It was a nice change, and something I am going to try and do again this week.

I watched the sun come up

I sat on my mat while bits of green pine cone rained down on me

from the tree and the squirrels eating above.

It was a lovely change.

After class a student that is always in virtual class came up to me and we chatted for a little while.

I was awkward from isolation

spoke in fits and starts

but it was nice to meet someone new!

This same day, we had a mandatory 4 hour power outage at home.

It was planned and I had gotten ice for our perishables.

(this is the foreshadowing part)

The power ended up only being out for a little over an hour...

but...The Barren had taken the day off.

We spent the day fighting the current heatwave.

We don't have AC, and so the fans were on and we were laying (literally) low.

Later that day, I realized

I forgot the ice in the coolers and it leaked all over the  living room floor.

As the week went on, our fridge seemed warmer than normal,

but I simply figured the heat wave made me want everything cold cold...

so I turned the temp down further.

By Thursday, The Barrens' stress level from work was through the roof-

I was giving him personal space and quiet.

except for when we called to wish 

Our niece happy 7th birthday wishes. 

 This same day, my state had registered over 500 individual active fires.

Many started by lightning, and with our decade long drought it was easy to ignite.

The smoke is starting to bellow all over the state and so we close all the windows and doors, 

so as to not get sick from the air.

Then...

My father called with an update from his recheck with his neurologist 

and was this time diagnosed with 

Hemicrainia Continua

and had stopped his prescribed steroids (for a "viral infection" in his brain)

 and was prescribed an anti-seizure med 
(ironically the same med my cat is on)

He gave me bits and pieces about the visit, peppering in his "toxic positivity" over it all.

When I asked a few questions about the visit, my mother was handed the phone and 

I could hear her voice shake as she mentioned her fear

from witnessing memory loss and balance issues she was seeing in my father.

I did my best to let her know I heard her, and that I thought it was a really good idea to mention these things to my fathers primary doctor. Fear of addressing them was not going to do any good.

I phoned my brother and told him we need to sit down and have a super sucky conversation about our parents and where our lines of involvement are.

I felt like the big sister again, and I could hear in his voice my little brother.

It was terrible.

Meanwhile the old man cat, is miserable from the heat and is lying around looking dead.

Like, have to check he is breathing, looking dead!

Then we had two small earthquakes 

and when I got up to get myself a glass of water.

I realized nothing was cold in the fridge but everything was still frozen in the freezer.

I started to spin., and the room was getting dark.

(I had gone shopping on Sunday before the outage and the new food was bad or going bad)

At this point, 

I was just able to vocalize to the stressed out Barren, before I shut down, that I was:

" really really stressed"

I don't think I spoke the rest of the day.

I sat and watched TV and went to bed to stare at the mountain of laundry 

that had formed in the corner of our bedroom.

Yesterday night, we went and bought a new fridge.

We should get it sometime in the next week, ideally.

Turns out everyone is sold out of fridges and with the heatwave and rolling blackouts

and fires and earthquakes and a virus that is still killing thousands...

things are a little backed up.

So how is your week going?