I made myself a cake and took it to my parents place the night before my birthday.
The four of us shared slices and I left most of it with them, so they could continue to enjoy it for the next couple days. It was a nice quiet time, but it highlighted my parents changes in cognition and socialization. I focused on being present as best I could, but when we left I was clearly overwhelmed and overstimulated from the visit. The following day The Barren and I went to a museum and ate some ramen...then we came home. He is still fighting a cold and was tired, so I made myself birthday tacos, got in my PJs and watched Indian Matchmaker on Netflix while he played video games.
I think it has become clear that birthdays are not going to be big deals anymore. For The Barrens birthday I planned a whole week of things he loved...we went on an overnight and to his favorite breweries and places. For my birthday, it felt like he kinda got overwhelmed with work and chose to not do anything. So that was that.
Part of me wants to let it ride, another part of me felt disappointed.
If I am going to be honest, and it is my blog, so I can say that.
I felt kind of forgotten, and it didn't feel celebratory.
Lesson: no one is going to celebrate your birthday like you celebrate other people
The art exhibition ended the day before my birthday and was a personal success in many ways, there were a lot of bumps with it as well, and I learned a lot about the experimental process along the way. Four of the six pieces exhibited sold and that is a big personal record for me.
That exhibition has folded over into the next opportunity that I am currently working on...and stressing about.
I am not sleeping well, and I need cannabis gummies most nights to help me stay asleep, but I am eating clean, and exercising and taking my vitamins. I am being a responsible adult, and that seems to be taking more and more effort.
The number on the cake is not phasing me, at least not yet...
so that is a plus 😀
I made a list of things I wanted to do for my bday:
Take annual nude selfie ✔
buy myself flowers ✔
make a yummy cake ✔**
enjoy a cuppa tea and a sweet ✔
paint nails
shoot some film ✔
wear something that makes me feel good about myself ✔
laugh ✔
I have also decided to break form this year and attend a baby shower. I have not gone to any in a looooooooooonnnng time, but a darling woman who I used to nanny for is expecting and has invited me to attend, and I without much thought, said yes. I was shocked at how easy it was to plan to go. I guess I am growing in many ways.
So here is to 53, a total shock, a real leap of growth, a change from the norm...
it was my birthday Tuesday and I survived.
3 comments:
Happy Belated Birthday!! I'm glad you did some special things for yourself. I always buy my own cake and presents. Nobody else cares anymore, ha! That sounds pessimistic, but I'm just being honest. If I want cake (or pie) for my birthday (and I do), I have to make or buy it myself.
I would've enjoyed cake and tacos with you. I'm glad you got to see your parents too. Even though I know it feels different as our parents age. The museum with The Barren sounds good too. And I also would have been overstimulated from the adventure.
I like celebrating my birthday. I don't hear from many people. Everyone has moved on to their kids' birthdays and such. That's what takes up their brain space. I understand my birthday is not it. But I still like to eat cake and think to myself all day, "It's my birthday!" hahaha :)
Here's to another year of enjoying the little things!
Belated Happy Birthday! Eek, an annual nude selfie. That would not "make my day" on my birthday! lol Your cake looked yummy, and I'm glad you did some other things just for you. I like to do that too - get a massage, take a nice walk, at the very least have a good coffee somewhere.
Men can be so bad at celebrating our birthdays. I have a BIL who almost never buys his wife a present, organises a lunch or dinner for her. It's a huge event when he actually does something! At least my husband books a restaurant and takes me out to dinner. We agreed to do this for each other years and years ago, and we both look forward to a celebratory meal. The restaurant choice is always up to the organiser! But he always asks if if I have a list of suggestions for a birthday present. And most times these days we don't bother. But like you and IP, I don't hear from many people either. A sister might call me. I might get some nice Fbk messages. That's about it.
I hope you have a lovely year.
And wow - a baby shower. Yay, you!
It's almost as if birthday celebrations should be like a bank. If you put a lot in, you should be able to take a lot out. Happy birthday. Sending balloons and cake and hugs.
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