Tuesday, March 01, 2016

How can I....

So my brother (The Earl) asked me if I knew anyone who had inoculated their kids with Gardasil.
My heart started racing....
He then followed it with that his wife (The Countess) did not want to give it to their daughter....my niece!
She had seen that a girl got sick after the shot and now has totally shut down to the idea of giving my niece the shot. The Earl is researching online and asking people he knows.

I am being as neutral as possible, 
but inside I am SCREAMING! 
and wanting to slap some sense into The Countess or The Earl.

I have asked my granola friends, and my conservative friends, 
I have asked doctor friends and total strangers...and forwarded their responses to The Earl.
All of which have chosen to protect their sons and daughters from
 either transmitting or contracting HPV

It seems totally logical to me 
and being someone who had more than one cancer scare
knows people who have HPV and had cervical cancer
I don't seem to see the logic in avoiding any kind of protections
from this horrible disease that can ultimately KILL you!

I have stayed mum with my personal opinion 
as I know that I might get the "it is not your child" 
thrown back in my face during a heated and or emotional moment.

I don't think they are avoiding it because they can not imagine her being sexually active, 
but instead are simply scared of vaccinations.
Mind you they have gotten all the others....

What can I do
How can I speak or advocate for my nieces and nephews
without getting slapped?
Should I expect a slap...and just deal with it?
Should I risk my relationship with my SIL and brother...

How can I help?


gr8southlandgirl said...

I think you’ve done quite a bit already. You’ve sought the views of a wider audience and passed the details back to your brother and his wife. One can only hope they take the advice.
Like you, I wouldn’t hesitate to take up the offer of protection, but then I have no kids, so my personal opinion counts for little.
I have learnt that over the years that if my suggestions are backed up by news, book, or specialist articles or first hand accounts from parents (that is, not myself) they are more well received.

Mali said...

My sister-in-law took this opinion many years ago with my niece. I was most upset, and shocked at her naivete - both in terms of wanting to "wait and see that the vaccine is proved safe" (as it already was), and in terms of "she's too young to have it" when of course, being "too young" is the perfect timing! Fortunately, my niece tells me she had it years later, before she was sexually active. But it could very easily have been too late.

So I sympathise with your dilemma! I gave her my arguments, but she of course ignored me. (What made it harder to understand was that her OWN sister had died of cervical cancer!)

So I think it is perfectly legitimate to give your brother your personal opinion. You could head off any "she is not your child" response with "I am a woman, and I love my niece, and want the best for her" or "if that had been available for me when I was a girl, I would hope that our parents would have made the right decision. Then perhaps let him know how upset you feel for her, and for him and his wife, that she's not getting the best medical attention that is available and proven.They can try the "she is not your child" bit, or "you're not a mother." But I think these days you could cope with that?

In NZ, since the government introduced a national vaccination programme, the rates of HPV have dropped sharply. There are always anecdotal cases, but these are vastly outweighed by scientific studies and empirical evidence from all over the world. Sigh.

Having said all that, I do remember hearing that people who have a strong opinion hold on to it even stronger when they are presented logical arguments to the contrary. It doesn't make sense. But explains a lot in this world, including the anti-vaccers.