So the Exhibition opened and I attended the artist reception
(Typically, the reception that the artists attend, so people can ask questions directly of the artists)
The gallery was full, much more full than I was really mentally prepared for.
It felt like I had entered a speed dating event. I was immediately greeted with hellos and questions, and as the night wore on I had explained the process and meaning and motivation for making the work more that 25 times, but really I lost count. At one point I got a real kick out of my father commanding an audience, and doing his best to explain what I made to onlookers; he made stuff up and explained a totally different kind of art, but it made my heart flutter before I stepped in with the actual information.
It was also the first artist reception I attended without a mask, which made it quite easy to see that I had quite the gigglemug*
My work was well received, and before I left I was informed that it had sold.
The Curator was kind enough to share the news in front of my parents and in-laws, so I got a gold star from everyone that evening.
I am very thankful that my parents attended and that my MIL and FIL make a night of it too.
It is a real gift of time and validation.
*Gigglemug
“An habitually smiling face.”
Since the exhibition I have been floating in a sea of "I don't know what to dos"
I have found that tasks around, and in the home, seem to fill my mind; maybe it is my ADHD or my fear of failure or just a true and complete sense of not knowing what to do next. I have built quite an arsenal of tools and taken so many classes on new and different techniques,
I am paralyzed with choices...
so many choices.
I have taken to my cameras, yet have not formed a project.
I have prepared to the make a couple baby gifts and have left the washed pile of onesies on my work table for weeks. I have gone to a ballet, art exhibitions, live music concerts, adventures to nearby cities, and made phone calls to friends. I have cooked and baked and gardened and cleaned and ironed and done everything all around artmaking thinking it would land me smack in the middle of a new idea...but so far no dice.
I have been taking yoga and meditation classes four to five times a week, I have delivered meals to my parents, and cookies to neighbors, had tea with a friend, watched movies and horrible TV shows...
I have tried so so many things and still I sit here wondering what do I do now!?
I have made all my doctors appointments and the appointments for The Barren, I have gotten myself a new pair of cross trainer shoes for walking in nature, but we have no plans for a trip yet. I have helped organize The Barrens closet yet mine remains like an overstuffed closet of hopes...I did give four of my dresses to a friend, as although they are beautiful they no longer fit me.
I have been the playmate for the three kitties and then find myself lost in a daze holding a fuzzy mouse toy. I am lost in a sea of unknows and quiet.
I don't mind the quiet, but after all this time it is starting to scare me a little.
When visiting with my parents yesterday, I found them older and more fragile, more forgetful, nothing dangerous, but just this side of vulnerable.
My brother is managing our parents rental unit, and I am his backup, but this morning my bestie asked if I would consider managing her moms two properties (as I live closer to them) as her mother was thinking of moving to a senior living situation, as she missed having people around her.
I am gonna talk to The Barren about that, bounce ideas off of him.
I am thankful for choices and options, as I know that comes from my privilege.
My question is this: how do you chose which way to travel when at a crossroad?
Have you ever been unable to choose because you have so many choices?
2 comments:
A gigglemug! I've never heard that. Lucky you. I have the opposite, but refuse to call it its common, misogynistic name!
I love the story of your exhibition - congratulations on it! And how sweet of your father. It made me smile. I can certainly understand that you feel a little adrift now. I've always found it easier to decide what I don't want to do than what I DO want. lol I'm sure inspiration will come, as you are doing other things.
Hmmm. I don't know if I would want to manage properties for a best friend. It's the risk of going into business with a friend - you don't want to lose the friend! It's a job so you'd need to be paid for it or you could become resentful, especially if you ended up with difficult, stress=inducing tenants. But wanting to help is always a motivator. Good luck with the decision.
Well, I loved learning a new word: gigglemug! And also, congratulations on selling your work!! I suppose not knowing what to do next is all a part of the process. Sounds like you've been doing good stuff though!
I've learned some new quilting techniques and wish I could just quilt all the time. I'd like to work 2-3 days a week and quilt the rest. Wouldn't that be nice? Haha. I'm going to start a big new project in September. It will require precision and I've always thought of myself as a sloppy quilter, so it will require some work and concentration from me. I wish you all the best as you determine which technique you're going to try next.
When at a crossroad, I usually make a list of pros and cons. But that's just the surface info. Whatever I decide works out on paper, I still send it to my stomach. My stomach always tells me what to do. If I sit with one idea for awhile and I can't eat or can't sleep, then I know that's not the option for me at that time. It's not always easy to know which choice to choose... So then I comfort myself with the fact that, whatever I've decided on, I put a lot of thought and effort into it!
Post a Comment