Wednesday, September 21, 2022

Wild Stallion

This might be a case of "the horse that has already left the barn" 

to close the stable door after the horse has bolted

to have tried to prevent something happening, but to have done so too late to prevent damage being done

It appears that my body is resisting.
I have massively altered my diet since my last ER visit back in April and June. 
To date I have lost close to 20 pounds.
I have been poked, prodded, illuminated from the inside out. Photographed, x-rayed, CT scanned, looked at via magnets. I have given blood and poop and tears; testing everything that could be imagined and all signs point to the same place.
Although I don't like the answer, it appears that everyone that has seen my stuff all agree, it is the same.
I have Colitis.
it is only a very small section of my intestines, but my gut doctor wants to put me on medicine, as the small portion of my intestine that is inflamed is very very near my appendix and if one imposes anymore on it, it could be bad bad bad.
So now I am faced with a lifetime of immunosuppressant drugs.
As you can imagine, I have a billion questions about them.
I prize my immune system, it is like my superpower, so the idea that I will need to suppress it for the rest of my life is nothing short of terrifying.

Once again, the news was delivered via a casual phone call.
When I mentioned that I wanted to continue the watch and wait method is when he mentioned that even with all my work "we are most likely dealing with a horse that has already left the stable." 
My decades of pain killers for my endo and migraines most likely played a role in my immune system attacking my intestine and so in an effort to battle one auto immune disease I created another.

What an epiphany about all this horrible.


Mali said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. It really sucks for you! Sending hugs, and lots of good wishes.

Infertile Phoenix said...

You are in my thoughts!! And what is wrong with healthcare professionals continuing to think that it's okay to deliver bad news over a casual phone call? I am over that nonsense.