Being a grown up

So with this crazy lull in my work at the second job and my sluggish progress with my art...I am left with distractions on EVERYTHING else in life.

I had set up an IRA when I left my last traditional job and thought that over time it would work like a saving account and grow a little money over time, like dust but in dollars. 

With distractions running amuck, 

I figured I'd spend some time trying to dust it off and get it gathering more funds.

I went to set it up and then discovered that I hadn't logged in since I set it up almost 7 years ago...

so I got to speak with people on the phone that sound like they just got out of high school.

When the guy on the phone asked what my goal was, I explained that I wanted to add a little money to "water the account" and 

by the way what is the minimum monthly investment for auto-deposit?

He told me and I told him that I was pretty sure that was doable.

He asked what other investments I had.

I (didn't laugh out loud) but instead said this is the whole enchilada.

I am a working artist, so this is what I have been able to squirrel away.

I could hear his voice change as he understood he was not talking to someone who had money but instead someone who had a LONG way before calling this a retirement account.

He was kind and mellow and is sending me a dictionary worth of information to read.

I can't stand being a grown up sometimes!

Other times there are benefits like eating whatever you want 

and staying up way past your normal hour

 or 

drinking

I wonder if things would have been different if  there was a kid in our lives?

I doubt it.

It takes us forever to make choices, 

our friends often giggle at us because of it.

Here are some examples:

We have still not painted any of our walls since this place was built in 2003.

The Barren wants to paint a sunrise to sunset on the ceiling from one side of the house to the other...
I don't. 

We had paint chips taped to the walls for 6 months...but never revisited the idea of color.

We are all about resuscitating things, when we have bought new things they end up not working well for us, so I think we are gun shy at jumping in with both feet.

We got a new mattress two years ago and about 7 months in, it developed a ridge right below the pillow line, like it exploded under the surface...sigh.

It still works as a place to crash, but we feel like we made a bad choice.

We need a new screen door, our beloved kitty bent the frame when he crashed into going after a little bird on the patio. We have nursed it to realign the wheels and pop it back onto the track over and over and over again.

We need a new dishwasher, so last November we pulled it cleaned it, replaced all the hoses and put it back to use....it still works but it needs to be updated for sure. when it runs it is so loud you have to leave the room to have a conversation because it is so loud.

This grown up thing is overrated.

Do you ever feel like, Fuck it I just don't want to deal with this and it won't kill me or anyone else if I just don't deal with it today or for a while...?

I feel like that today.

I am cooked with this grown up thing.