Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Competition with myself

I have signed up for this challenge.
I am sorry if my next few posts have a heavy yoga theme, 
it is pretty much the only real socializing I get...cuz I am a dork like that.

I don't normally do this sort of thing because I have discovered that I find competition quite repulsive. It does not motivate me, it makes me retreat.
I don't even like when people shout words of encouragement to push you through....
like when running for the finish line, or to keep up with the pace of others.

I had signed up for this kind of thing at the last yoga studio I use to go to, 
but it was a punch card and it turned out to be way competitive! 
So I did two or three classes got my little card punched and then found reasons to not finish them 
and self sabotaged the efforts of the punch card.
There were people who went to classes three or four times a day so I felt Why?!

This one felt different, one is forcing it down my throat or talking it up like you all get cars if you finish. This one is hey, we've been open a year and we made this chart with sharpies and have stickers that you can put in a box next to your name after each class you take...and you have 35 days to do 30 days of yoga because, you know life and shit happens sometimes.

Also you can only get one sticker per day, so if you come once that is the same as coming three times a day...for those crazy overachievers....and for those that have day jobs and relationships.
Quite frankly, I was highly excited about my first sticker, it was a gold unicorn!
I am still 7 years old and get excited about stickers and unicorns

this is my 6th day in a row but only the 3rd in the challenge...
so now I have one unicorn and two stars.
I am also playing hooky from work this week as we are getting some rain and evacuation orders have been issued and revoked due to threats of debris from last years fires.
I have spent my time in yoga, practicing mudras , eating, watching crappy tv and reading.
I have also done some catch up on art things and planning for the coming year.
I am trying to be happier and less fearful.
that is what I am working on the most this year...
less fear
so I am taking yoga every day
and even when the next cycle comes along I will be there...
reminding myself that I am powerful and have overcome all threats to my reproductive system.

There is a woman that practices next to me often in class and she is a psychotherapist who specializes in helping people free the BODY from trauma. She says we trap trauma in our bodies and our bodies replay that over and over again even when we are currently safe and there is no threat. 
Like soldiers that have survived bombs and people who have lived through shootings or car crashes.

This resonated with me and my white coat and I started meditating on my uterus being safe from trauma, and trying to calm her down from her past experiences.
I am taking time every day to practice this seems to feel natural and soothing me.

I am not sure how many days I will end up practicing for this challenge but I am willing to try and that is HUGE...and if they keep providing gold unicorn stickers there is no telling how long this could go on!

1 comment:

Mali said...

It sounds fun. I'm actually doing Adriene's 30 Day Yoga Challenge, but started late and I'm only on Day 4 (and there was a gap between Day 1 and 2). As it is online/youtube, I don't get fun stickers though. I do agree that it is nicer when you choose to do it, rather than feel in a competition to do it.