I am feeling a little better...maybe distracted would be a better adjective.
Hubby is watching me like a hawk and we keep saying our mantras to each other.
I am focusing on all the wonderful things we can do together, that are completely ours.
What it means for us to be a family of two and how that is going to be fine.
We have each other to work with when things get murky and when we are knee deep in the
shitty feelings, and muddy emotions.
We are still able to laugh and hug each other and communicate without words.
I know this ride is really on an ocean and that there are tall waves of joy and sorrow
but I also know that I can simply float and see where each place takes me...or swim in a direction of my choosing.
I seem to have these moments of intense clarity after a beating from The Barreness
she is resting and plotting her next attack I am sure...but I am working really hard on making myself less available to her and making her wait even longer.
Wait there Barreness, I'll see if I can find her.....
feel free to have a seat I think it might be a while.