Friday, November 26, 2010

It is that time of the year



So now that Thanksgiving is a thing of the past, it is time to focus on Christmas.
At least that is what I am being fed everywhere I go

I usually watch a lot less television this time of year, as the commercials get so so hard to ignore.
There are families and traditions and colors and emotions.

It becomes harder to go the store to shop for simple things like toilet paper and salsa. There is Christmas music everywhere and children in tow. School is out and the patience level of parents drops as they mow thru stores and life trying to get things done and presents wrapped and food made.

All the while I float and bare witness to mothers yelling at their children in SUV's and fathers screaming at their kids to listen.

I caught sight of myself in the reflection of the car window today and I look tired.
 I wonder how I can get my zip back...
what can I do to pull it all together again?

I want to have a holiday, feel like everything is happy and festive.
Special and memorable, like I am creating a memory for just ourselves and that that is ok,
not just something we have settled for.

4 comments:

MoonNStarMommy said...

I am so sorry you are feeling this way :( I hope ICLW is treating you well....

heartincharge said...

So tough and so true. I get pulled into the child-centeredness of Christmas through my stepdaughter, which is both the gift and the curse for my feelings surrounding infertility this time of year.
My advice is to find the adult holiday activities and have a blast - they may take some seeking out but they are there. Go to the theater and not a holiday puppet show. Find a restaurant with a holiday wine tasting. Spend a lazy morning with 2 cups of some sweet holiday latte. Spend a late evening with extra eggnog. This doesn't fix it. But it gives you some moments that are wonderful and that don't feel settled for to sprinkle throughout the holiday season.

the Barreness said...

MoonNStarMommy, thank you, sometimes things seem saturated.

Heartincharge, those are wonderful suggestions! Thank you so much.

Heather said...

Big hugs to you. It's hard to avoid kids, they are everywhere. I see them everyday in my job (I'm a teacher). But I have to keep believing I'll get there someday or else I'll go insane.