Warmth

This morning before the sun was even up, we got back into our car and drove out of the ice and snow back home. Our 36 hour trip had come to an end.

Before leaving we knocked on my sister-in-laws door and were directed into the warm dark room, where we found little quiet lumps in the bed. 

I could see their little bodies, curled into soft curves, hair all disheveled.

I dreamt of this moment for myself, many time over...

walking into a dark room, smelling the soft scent of their breath in the air.

Hearing them quietly breathe and knowing that they were safe and mine.

This is the closest I can get; a welcomed visitor into a family members room.

It was heartbreaking.

I wanted to whisper into their ear during their early morning dreams; but all I could do was rest my hand onto their head feel their silken hair in my fingers and quickly kiss their cheek.

Hopefully I was able to let them know I loved them, even if I still wasn't strong enough to sit and watch them sleep.