Crap

I am currently fighting a case of the blues.

Well, I don't really fight them anymore really. I simply let it come and be...I have found that my past methods of brushing them aside simply piles it all up into a corner and then then tumbles down onto me later when I am feeling like myself and under control.

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Maybe it is the new years arrival, maybe it is the presence of birth control pills in my house.

The birth announcements, or the season.

Maybe it is something else.

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Regardless, I am sad and am trying to figure out why

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I am wanting to turn my life upside down again, like a strong shake will make the last pieces fall into place or something. I go thru these phases of wanting to cut my hair, wear different clothes, become a different person.
These usually fade away with a few baths and I remember that I have not won the lottery so my plans to run away and join the circus are not really do-able yet.
I actually use to practice balancing acts as a child in case the circus needed someone
(but that is another story)

Until I can figure this latest round out, I am quiet, moody and weepy.