Friday

Life has been crazy serious lately in my head, and I just wanted to show you how

 "all over the board I am"
(I ramble in this post, I hope you can keep up)
 

I went out wandering...in a fruitless effort to find a couple summer dresses,

as my current ones are thread bare and several years old....

I have been drooling over some Modcloth dresses, but when I looked at the price, and style

I realized I was picking the same style over and over so

I ended up getting a pattern from Vogue,

that claims to be "easy"
 it has a zipper

I consider that tough, turn blue in the face,cursing level of sewing,

but whatever, maybe my brain will understand the instructions better this time,

or I'll resort to Velcro or staple myself into it out of complete frustration in the end.
 

I have a ton of fabric from my now defunct "children's clothing line"
and thank goodness I was so neurotic, as I collected some seriously cool stuff,
I have all this fabric left over and not enough hours in the day to list them on Etsy,
so I might as well make myself a dress or a skirt or something that resembles those items of clothing.

I am trying to get my funky back.
and a few hours in the day to make a dress....

 

So back to the meaning of this post, I was distracted by sparkle at the local retailer, and had to try on the shoes my mother NEVER let me wear, claiming they would ruin my arches.

Even for "dress up"!
I also think this was her silent feminist response to playing dress up....

So imagine my surprise when she told me I could wear heeled shoes at prom.
 2.5 inches off the ground and I was wobbling around the house like a frigging baby horse
 trying to not break an ankle or as my father referred to it "walk like a truck driver".
 

To this day, I am either barefoot or in sneakers;
anything higher then that is for my mere amusement,

or to feed my inner daredevil/risk taker.
I almost never return home from a heeled evening saying anything

but how much my feet hurt or how I have a blister from the shoes
or how I totally messed up my ankle.
I mostly try, in a vain effort over and over again to be the graceful dancer,
model woman who can walk in shoes higher then the cement.
I have even asked women in stilettos the secret to walking forwards and backwards in the shoes.
They usually just say practice at home....and something about the balls of my feet.
I lost interest after that, because it sounded complex and not like walking.
 

SOOOOO, everytime I see fancy footwear in the store,

I try them on, it is like a grown up rebellion, my version of a repressed dress-up,

you can clearly see my sandals in the pics and my slipping foot inside each shoe.

I did some impressive yoga moves to get this vantage point

 

So here is what they had on sale for $4 each on the super bargain discount shelf:

soooooooooo much glitter and sequins
I was tempted to get them just to source the sequins and glitter off of them!

this one had chicken feathers and a brooch on the toe!
ohh la la
 

Sparkle rhinestones,
all around, and the toes didn't even touch the ground

A little Lady Gaga meets Elton John circa 1972
Gold glitter with spikes around the heel
I like how blingy it is in this picture

 

When all was said and done I left the shoes at the store.
My mother was right, they hurt and made my feet feel funny.
*sigh*