He was...

So for the last two years, my high school boyfriend has come thru town on business.

We get together for a couple hours and share a meal.

It's nice.

He sent an email last year and asked if we (hubby) and me could join him for dinner.

It ended up being just me...and it was fine but surreal.

We have remained friends and the spoken via emails thru the years...

but

We hadn't seen each other in person since my wedding in 2002.

Dinner was a strange combination of flashbacks and memories and giggly conversations.

We mostly reasserted that we would continue to be friends and that we had shared a really important time in our lives so it seemed stranger to simply not ever talk to each other.

Since my wedding he also had gotten married.

(I am thrilled for him, as I remember many calls where I was consoling him and letting him know that he was going to find a perfect person.

It was going to happen.

It did and since then he seems to be so so so happy.

That makes me happy too!

Even though he is an old boyfriend, more importantly he is a friend.)

We talked about his wife and their life and family...and I asked if they were thinking about becoming parents.

At this dinner, I also found out he never wanted kids.

I had never known that.

we dated for a year and a half!

I told him I was sorry; that I assumed he did since he came from such a big family.

Shame on me.

He laughed and said, that helped him decide he didn't want kids!

We laughed about that.

Last month I got an email saying he was in town again and could we do dinner.

This time hubby's work schedule allowed him to make it and so the three of us had dinner together. Surreal once again.

This time I sat between my husband and my old boyfriend in a U shaped booth.

I am gonna be honest; I was nervous getting ready for dinner, and when getting dressed I wanted to make sure I looked OK...not fat or thin or tired or crazy.

Hubby found this quite funny.

When he arrived I had forgotten how tall he was and that lead to a bunch more flashbacks to events shared, conversations, and what it was like to be a teenager with him.

This quickly shifted to a checklist in my head.

As I sat there and shared pleasant, benign conversation about work, parents, family...

I started to wonder what my life would have been like with him.

I listened as I heard him tell me what he enjoys doing on the weekends and time off

and

what he and his wife hope for and share.

Nothing matched with my interests

Our story was just the classic teenage romance-

meets high school graduation -

meets I want to find myself.

poor guy, I was too independent/free spirited for him.

We learned a lot along the way.

I realised as we left and I was still in a daze- and forgot my leftovers on the restaurant table...

I think we were meant to share just that time in our lives, and not much more then

simply catching up and checking in with each other now.

I would be heartbroken if we never spoke again, but as my hubby said as we drove away.

" It was so clear that there was no spark left between you too"

He was a great boyfriend