I live in a very fertile neighborhood....the place spills children out its pores around 5pm.
They run around in circles in the courtyards. I can hear them playing made up games and squeeling with joy at being chased.
I can hear childhood.
I remember mine and remember that I wanted to share it with my own child.
Chase an ice cream truck, walk barefoot when it rained, eat cereal out of a huge bowl in front of the TV on a Saturday morning.
What I hear now, is all those things not happening.
What I feel now is sad and lonely.
4 comments:
Oh, honey. I know that pain. I have lived in very fertile neighborhoods. Their were bikes and schools and children laughing and calling Mommy. We lived within steps of a school. Those sounds HURT. I send hugs.
p.s. I am sooooooo GLAD I found your blog.
xo
p.s.s. I added your to my blog roll. Thanks for having me on yours.
Boy can I relate to this post.
I too am infertile-unexplained infertility. Feels like the theme of my life, "unexplained."
I dreamed those same dreams. I'm working on a memoir about my own story but it hurts so damn much to write it sometimes. I still can't believe that in my lifetime no one will ever call me, "Mommy."
Hugs to you!
Yes. Yes. All of this, yes.
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