Friday, October 26, 2018


I am not dealing with what is being dealt my way these days.
My skin for it seems very thin, or nonexistent.

 * cat has possible entropin (inward turning eyelids and it requires surgery)
he is 15 years old, and drools from stress just going to the vet.
*I am trying to deal with the newly revived PTSD from MY last vet experiences:
1. the pet food poisoning that had melamine in the food we almost lost both cats
2.  emergency surgery from ingesting a metal nut
that got stuck in his intestine and needed to be removed.
3. Same cat, showed signs of the nut experience experience again back last summer
and I was a train wreck- it was am irritated stomach.
Now, his eye has swollen and it appears that he has entropion 

*My breast ultrasound, which my insurance would not cover so I paid $150 to have the required test done showed a small cyst (the doctor said it appears to be benign)
* I am still spotting on and off since the miscarriage in August, I have been told this is normal, even though, it is still unsettling.
* my current work schedule has me upside down and not really allowing for regular studio time, so most of the free time is spent catching up on home chores (which sucks)
* I have several shows I am trying to prepare for on this limited time and now the cat, has me like a full on, should be committed basket case...I feel like I am coming apart at the seams.

Since writing this the cat has had his surgery-
waiting for the vet to call and say he survived was so stressful that my face went numb!
I didn't eat for two days

He is home now and on day two of recovery, and it appears that he is truly on the mend.
I did not sleep the first night he came home, but got some last night and he is increasing his mobility and has no signs of problems....
but the recheck is tomorrow and then another on Monday.
Until then my job is to guard his corneas and be a full time nurse and body guard.
The Barren can not take time off and I really can't either but,
 I was designated as the caregiver and so I am doing that.
I have not gone to yoga, or even left hte house as he can not be unattended. The week prior was so stressful as I was grappling with feelings and doubts and fears while giving a small puma a constant feed of eye-drops, I missed a lot of yoga then too, and instead slept my sorrow.

I am beyond thankful that this cat is as tenacious as he is and dead set to be my guy for some more time...and now that he can see, the sky is really the limit.
At the drop off, I mentioned to The Barren that all his hospital experiences have been successful and good. It was me that has been so traumatized and so at that epiphany I chose to not doom my cat....imagine the worst case scenarios or envision something wrong.
It was a REALLY long wait for an update call, but it came and we took him home soon afterwards!
He has been waking from his naps head butting me and purring and eating.
I am overwhelmed with the grace this cat possesses.

1 comment:

Mali said...

Oh wow. I'm sorry you've been through all this, but thrilled to hear that your poor, but gorgeous cat has come through well. I hope you get to breathe deeply, and can see that it will all be over soon.