I have been working...in two places and I fear that I am at the stage that I need a push...
I am tired and making lists like there is no tomorrow...when I get overwhelmed I start dropping things...literally and metaphorically. So lists help me feel less chaotic.
I have a hair cut appointment tomorrow in a feeble attempt of self care.
I only get my hairs cut maybe twice a year as I find it to be a decadence,
one I can often overlook and choose car oil changes instead.
My grandmothers would go weekly, my mother gets her hair person to come to her home monthly
to color and cut her hair.
I am a low maintenance kinda girl with dreams of being a fancier girl.
Every 6-8 months I go crazy and buy some new makeup that almost always ends up living its life in a bin under the sink because I either try it once and freak out that I have makeup on, or chicken out or forget about it. I keep the makeup next to the hairdryer and curling iron...two other rarely used tools.
I bought red lipstick today...
I read that it subconsciously makes people (including the wearer) believe that you are powerful :
|I adore this woman!|
I am feeling anxious and nervous about this upcoming exhibition.
I have a comfortable dress, and shoes for standing long periods of time on hard surfaces.
I have a room that I can crash in after the event it over and I don't have to drive for hours afterwards.
In the middle of the preparations from afar I am feeling less than confident...
you know, the whole question your abilities, your drive, your reason...
and so I thought I would try out the red lipstick theory.
It feels comfortable but it is arresting to see crimson on my lips.
I am wearing it now in fact, in a strange way I think that if I can wear it and forget about it, I can ease into the idea that it is not such a foreign part of me and I can pull it off for opening night.You know?!
I am thankful that I am still a risk taker, even if the risks seem small and silly