OK I am feeling a lot more like myself...well at least closer to it.
So I figured I would wander onto here and type up some things...or babble.
OK so Xmas was nice
We got to visit with some friends and
eat everything in sight with smiles on our faces
Catching the new year sickie but was the low light,
but we got to be home together and commiserated
on our snot and tummy gurgles.
Now here I am standing up in the first week of the new year and finding that I still need to make a goal list....I took down last years from my bulletin board and realize I had completed about 50% of them...well the ones I printed out at the beginning of the year, mind you I drive myself INSANE by constantly adding to the list as I cross something off I tend to add to the list at the same time...
So here is what I have decided so far:
*I need to really learn how to braid my own hair, french braids etc...
I am tired of ponytails and buns and two tight braids
*I am OK being vegan,
I am also OK having cheese or a treat every now and again, zero guilt.
I am making a lifestyle change and it won't stick if I feel tortured all the time:
*I need to go to yoga at least three times a week or I am lost and confused.
Plus I had a breakthrough Monday and even though I was dizzy from lack of oxygen
and snot I finally was able to do this pose with a block under my forehead,
that means that the bruises on the backs of my upper arms are for something!:
*I am actively changing my thinking!
I am choosing to change my language.
When something is not stellar,
I am currently vocalizing all the things that are right instead.
The Barren witnessed this the other night when I couldn't breathe and was aching from coughing.
I started talking to myself saying:
I am fed, I have a loving relationship, I am warm and sheltered
I woke up this morning and saw the sun rise.
*As much as I don't like the 4:30am wake up for a 6am class, I really find the pre-dawn magical.
I look forward to watching the sky change colors in the morning.
I remembered that I even use to do this as a child:
I plan on getting serious stuff done this year.
Focus on my work and take chances.
I know I might not hit every mark,
but I am willing to try
and that my friends is what I have found to be the most important
in my personal rediscovery
I am trying.
I am less afraid and less concerned about the sky falling.
I am making muscles, so I know I can hold something high if I need to
even if it just my own shoulders