Wednesday, August 17, 2011

He was...

So for the last two years, my high school boyfriend has come thru town on business.
We get together for a couple hours and share a meal.
It's nice.

He sent an email last year and asked if we (hubby) and me could join him for dinner.
It ended up being just me...and it was fine but surreal.
We have remained friends and the spoken via emails thru the years...
We hadn't seen each other in person since my wedding in 2002.
Dinner was a strange combination of flashbacks and memories and giggly conversations.
We mostly reasserted that we would continue to be friends and that we had shared a really important time in our lives so it seemed stranger to simply not ever talk to each other.
Since my wedding he also had gotten married.
(I am thrilled for him, as I remember many calls where I was consoling him and letting him know that he was going to find a perfect person.
It was going to happen.
It did and since then he seems to be so so so happy.
That makes me happy too!
Even though he is an old boyfriend, more importantly he is a friend.)
We talked about his wife and their life and family...and I asked if they were thinking about becoming parents.
At this dinner, I also found out he never wanted kids.
I had never known that.
we dated for a year and a half!
I told him I was sorry; that I assumed he did since he came from such a big family.
Shame on me.
He laughed and said, that helped him decide he didn't want kids!
We laughed about that.

Last month I got an email saying he was in town again and could we do dinner.
This time hubby's work schedule allowed him to make it and so the three of us had dinner together. Surreal once again.
This time I sat between my husband and my old boyfriend in a U shaped booth.
I am gonna be honest; I was nervous getting ready for dinner, and when getting dressed I wanted to make sure I looked OK...not fat or thin or tired or crazy.
Hubby found this quite funny.
When he arrived I had forgotten how tall he was and that lead to a bunch more flashbacks to events shared, conversations, and what it was like to be a teenager with him.
This quickly shifted to a checklist in my head.

As I sat there and shared pleasant, benign conversation about work, parents, family...
I started to wonder what my life would have been like with him.
I listened as I heard him tell me what he enjoys doing on the weekends and time off
what he and his wife hope for and share.
Nothing matched with my interests

Our story was just the classic teenage romance-
meets high school graduation -
meets I want to find myself.
poor guy, I was too independent/free spirited for him.
We learned a lot along the way.

I realised as we left and I was still in a daze- and forgot my leftovers on the restaurant table...
I think we were meant to share just that time in our lives, and not much more then
simply catching up and checking in with each other now.
I would be heartbroken if we never spoke again, but as my hubby said as we drove away.
" It was so clear that there was no spark left between you too"
He was a great boyfriend


Nicole said...

I still know what most of my high school boyfriends are doing via facebook... and it isn't it interesting how much your interests can change?

I never had a high school love, but I find it very cool that you still keep up with yours. That you maintain that friendship. How lovely. It is so wonderful to have people from our far away past who we still know. They are great connections.

Kristin said...

Isn't it wonderful to be able to have that connection to your past?

So wonderful that you were able to have your husband meet him too.

ICLW #19

BTW, your ICLW link is messed up but I let Mel know and it should be fixed ASAP.

MoonNStarMommy said...

I have had a handful of boyfriends... there was the first kiss, in 1st Grade, the Jr. High boyfriend who ended up being gay .... however I recall him pressuring me to have sex ... so I find that funny ... the quick romance with a bad boy that was nothing more then making out ... there was the guy I lusted after all 4 years of highschool but never had a chance with... the guy I wanted to date who was more interest in one of my best friends (and again, turned out to be gay, we totally scared him to bat for the other team, ha ha .. just kidding, now, looking back ... it explains A LOT) ... the guy I dated - first REAL boyfriend experience - who then started dating the best friend that the gay guy preferred... lol.. then I met my first husband, was married to him for 10 years, dated a guy after who was a total rebound but exactly what I needed in my life at that moment, and after a few DATES (not dating) met my current husband.

I am friends with ... one of them (the second gay guy). The ex boyfriend after my marriage, we tried being friends but his girlfriend (now wife) kept accusing us of cheating - first off I'd never - but it causes him to talk to me in secret ... and THAT was an odd situation ...

So the whole point of that was this... GOOD FOR YOU for still being friends who was obviously important in your life and having a good adult relations with him - with no accusations of cheating. It really goes to show you have a solid marriage where your husband isn't worried about you cheating with your ex. That's the type of relationship I have now, my ex, not so much. He cheated on me and accused me of cheating numerous times, when I never did .... LOL

It's nice to still have that connection I'm sure.

Sorry my comment got a lot long.. .lol

Happy ICLW from #86 :D

Sarah said...

Garth Brooks has a great song called "Unanswered Prayers" about how when we are young we are so convinced that we want to be with someone and we feel they are "the one", only to discover years later there was something better out there!!

Happy ICLW

Mali said...

He is a great Husband!

Heather said...

Isn't it amazing how life works out.. I am so glad you landed up with the best hubby and you can still be friends with your ex.


What a beautiful story. Love your husband's supportive attitude. Sounds like you and he were meant to be.