Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Alone at night

Recently my dreams have been highly ramped up....masses of details and information has been pouring into my dream eyes and mind. I am not sure what it all means but I often find myself frustrated at m=not being able to remember all the littlest details when I wake. I have begun to say my dreams out loud the moment I wake up as a way to anchor them of sorts. Writing them down, doesn't work for me as I am blind as a bat and getting my glasses on awakens me to a new level and things begin to fall off the edges and fade rapidly. So now with my eyes still closed, I am reciting my dreams to the air above my head.

This morning I told hubby of the one I had last night.

"I was checking in on an older neighbor that lived next door and she would not speak, but I knew she was not well. She would convey her wellness in states of color, in clothing.
The more color the sicker she was feeling.
When I went to check on her, she opened the door in a rainbow banded Mexican style dress with vivid white, yellow, orange red and green cascading down to her bare feet. 
but her face was a pale green she was waving her arms at me and leaning to the side.
I ran to her door and entered her home, we were then in a far back bedroom where I could tell she was going to collapse. 
I grabbed her shoulders and felt the heat of a fever from her skin. 
She was suddenly small, very frail and she motioned for her dog to come to her. It was a dog I had given her for company. She was then a child and patting its back like an infant would do.
We both sat there and I could feel the fur of the dog on my hand and see its floppy ears silhouetted in the light coming thru the windows..
 I could tell she(the neighbor) was struggling to breathe, and I looked into her eyes and said 
" Rae we love you so very much, you are so so loved"
and with that I woke up.

I felt a longing when I awoke, but not a sadness.


Nicole said...

i read this yesterday and spent some time contemplating it. I see a Jungian therapist and we do some dream analysis.. this is a really fascinating complex one.

i find the more color the sicker she was feeling... that is really interesting b/c that is reverse of how things normally are... generally sick people are portrayed as being very gray/dark or in those colors.

And the dog. The dog being what she needed at the end. This reminded me of something my therapist said to me just this past week - that dogs/cats/pets truly are the companions that will always be there and love us - not children. Animals give us unconditional love always - not children. This idea that the woman wanted her dog to be with her in her final moments reminds me of that.

i will think on this one more...

The Barreness said...

That is so sweet that you have been thinking on this one. I thought the revese color was interesting, in fact I thought about it several times to make sure I was rememebering it correctly.

I love that animal companions are forever...I can see that.

As I was writing about it it made me see it in a new way and there is a lot of infertility in it.

I have always believed that my dreams are messages to I never really push them aside.
Have fun with this...and your own!

Nicole said...

Yeah, it is really interesting the layers dreams can have - how they can relate to what's currently going on in our life, things we've seen/done lately, what's going on in the world.. or just what has been on our mind... it is so fascinating. i should share some of my dreams on my blog sometime b/c as my therapist mentioned to me once just talking about them really make you get more understanding or see more in them.