Sunday, January 02, 2011


I am currently fighting a case of the blues.
Well, I don't really fight them anymore really. I simply let it come and be...I have found that my past methods of brushing them aside simply piles it all up into a corner and then then tumbles down onto me later when I am feeling like myself and under control.
Maybe it is the new years arrival, maybe it is the presence of birth control pills in my house.
The birth announcements, or the season.
Maybe it is something else.
Regardless, I am sad and am trying to figure out why
I am wanting to turn my life upside down again, like a strong shake will make the last pieces fall into place or something. I go thru these phases of wanting to cut my hair, wear different clothes, become a different person.
These usually fade away with a few baths and I remember that I have not won the lottery so my plans to run away and join the circus are not really do-able yet.
I actually use to practice balancing acts as a child in case the circus needed someone
(but that is another story)

Until I can figure this latest round out, I am quiet, moody and weepy.


Nicole said...

hi there,

i recently found your blog and have been enjoying reading it.

i too am barren and understand so many of the emotions you feel.

i just wanted to leave a little message telling you to take care. i am sending warm fuzzies and good thoughts your way.

Kitty said...

((HUGS)) I'm there with you, friend. I hope you find some peace, and better yet lots of happiness very soon.

La Belette Rouge said...

Oh, sweet friend, I hear you. I to am feeling craptastic. I think I had a secret belief that I would get some kind of special reward for all that endured. But the longer I go the more I feel like I am running our of aces.
Sending hugs, love and a hand to hold.xoxo

the Barreness said...

Thank you dear sweet friends, your words are kind reminders to me.