Sunday, January 02, 2011

Crap



I am currently fighting a case of the blues.
Well, I don't really fight them anymore really. I simply let it come and be...I have found that my past methods of brushing them aside simply piles it all up into a corner and then then tumbles down onto me later when I am feeling like myself and under control.
*
Maybe it is the new years arrival, maybe it is the presence of birth control pills in my house.
The birth announcements, or the season.
Maybe it is something else.
*
Regardless, I am sad and am trying to figure out why
*
I am wanting to turn my life upside down again, like a strong shake will make the last pieces fall into place or something. I go thru these phases of wanting to cut my hair, wear different clothes, become a different person.
These usually fade away with a few baths and I remember that I have not won the lottery so my plans to run away and join the circus are not really do-able yet.
I actually use to practice balancing acts as a child in case the circus needed someone
(but that is another story)

Until I can figure this latest round out, I am quiet, moody and weepy.

4 comments:

Nicole said...

hi there,

i recently found your blog and have been enjoying reading it.

i too am barren and understand so many of the emotions you feel.

i just wanted to leave a little message telling you to take care. i am sending warm fuzzies and good thoughts your way.

Kitty said...

((HUGS)) I'm there with you, friend. I hope you find some peace, and better yet lots of happiness very soon.

La Belette Rouge said...

Oh, sweet friend, I hear you. I to am feeling craptastic. I think I had a secret belief that I would get some kind of special reward for all that endured. But the longer I go the more I feel like I am running our of aces.
Sending hugs, love and a hand to hold.xoxo

the Barreness said...

Thank you dear sweet friends, your words are kind reminders to me.