Although I knew the answer it never sits well.
I was alone when I took the test. It sat quietly within me.
On this same weekend, I am making the birthday cake for my Nephew.
I asked my brother and sister-in-law if I could, I asked if I could make all their cakes.
I need to express myself, my loss; in making something sweet for the little people in my life.
I would never be able to have that experience otherwise, and lucky for me, it was welcomed and appreciated.
My home smells of sugar and I have a mountain of cupcakes waiting to be frosted.
Tomorrow, thru my pain pill (as my period arrived late today) I will watch my nephew, I will see people parenting and hear children laugh and play.
Then crawl home, and tuck myself into bed...trying to make the memory of those sounds my lullaby;
not a haunting symphony of mockery and taunts