Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Sedation

I found myself hoping again that my period would not arrive. Even as I laid in bed and experienced my back tightening and my abdomen ache.
I thought for a moment, wouldn't it be the biggest of surprises to be pregnant. It is a sweet daydream, no malice, just joy in the idea.

It is when that fluffy cloud dissipates that I realize that the blood will arrive and I will hide from the pain with pills, hot baths and sedated sleep.

How deeply it still hurts.

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