Thursday, May 31, 2007

Deconstructing my nest

It felt like I was dismantling the nest I had started to weave, pulling sticks apart and throwing fluff to the winds.
I decided to clean last weekend, you know, too much time on my hands. I cleaned out my bathroom cabinet.
In doing so, I dusted off all that nest, those woven sticks and fluff.
I unearthed boxes and boxes of pregnancy tests and ovulation kits. I dusted off the ovulation scope; and remembered looking into the glass hoping to see " ferns" from my dried saliva.

There were so many sticks and boxes, it made me realize that I was desperate, I really wanted this and I really did try.
I remember thinking that couldn't bear the idea of throwing out a box.
If I threw out a box, it meant that I failed.

The Barreness was born from this.

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