Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Let's start again....

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Put you in a better mood

This little GIF makes me smile, so I wanted to start with that.

I realize that my last post was a bitch, not mean, just bitchy...
I am working hard to move past it and let it go.
Things around here are intense,stressful and in general, thick.
The Barren and I are on different schedules and it makes life during the week strange.
We are often like two ships crossing paths, so by Friday it is more like..."Hi you're cute, wanna have dinner with me and chat? Then maybe we can have a drink and a roll in the sack before the next week arrives and we are strangers again?"
Works ( I used that on purpose, as I have two jobs) is intense too....
one has been an exercise in patience and careful footsteps. 
The other is a never ending cycle of positive affirmations and small steps.
By the time I get out from one and arrive at the other I am exhausted and it is an uphill battle to stay moving.

Practice is still three times a week, and it helps tremendously with my mental health and willingness to sleep.
This morning was a series of heart openers and after we were done I just wanted to sit and cry for an hour...but alas the works were calling and I had to just keep moving.
I have a bottle of wine in the fridge that I plan to partake in with dinner tonight...
well not the whole bottle but at least a glass!

A lot of good things are bubbling and that is good, thing is, when things are good it all comes at once and I am getting really good at storing those good times to keep me going when things are quieter or not as good.
I have been seeing "list three positives" lists appear all over social media and it is interesting to see what people list...So I thought I would try the same...
Aside from the obvious things I find quite positive, like, I woke up, I am breathing, I am in love, I have clean water to drink and food to eat and I am healthy...

* No one I know died this week! so that is good, really good
*I got a baby shower invite and I am waiting to respond, I am gonna feel this one out
* I am able to heal. I smashed my foot and lost a chunk of my toe and sliced open my finger yesterday all before 5am, today I have a scab on my thumb and my toe is working on the same.

I feel badly that my last post seemed like a downer...I am feeling alright, fragile at times but really OK
I seem to be spending a lot of time recently worrying about other people and that gets hard after a while.
So I guess that is something else I need to back off on, worrying doesn't change things
and I want things to change not stagnate...you know?!


Mali said...

I love love LOVE the miniature-safari-scene gif!

We all go through ups and downs, so there is no need to apologise for how you feel. And we blog how we feel at the time.

I feel excited for you at the good things that are bubbling. Inspires me to work on my on good things, and get them bubbling (or simmering at least).

nicole said...

Dear lady, you have so so much going on!! Do not apologize. We all need to vent and air out what's hard in our lives. You are wonderful and you work so hard on self actualization - I am constantly impressed by you. You give so much to others and your work. Enjoy that wine!! Sending good thoughts your way and I hope you and the hubby get more time together soon. xoxoxo.

Amel said...

Your last post didn't make me flinch or anything. I'm glad you managed to spend a good time with your friends at a vegan restaurant. :-)

And LOVE the "Don't Worry Be Happy" image. :-D