Monday, October 17, 2011

Sick and Tired

I am fighting a cold...or a cootie, regardless I am not feeling like me these days.

Last week I spent a couple of hours painting faces at my niece's school fair. 
They needed help and when it was known that my niece had an Artist that was her aunt I was asked if I would participate.
I had no problem doing just that...
I felt strong and ready to be around lovely adorable children. 
It appeared to be important to my niece so it was then important for me.

I painted whiskers, and horses, skulls and flames and rainbows and yin/yangs...
it was a busy two hours and I painted around runways of snot and sneezing and wind...crazy crazy wind.
Then one of the mothers said " when are you leaving? " I told her I had signed up for two hours and she said " well, your time is up" so I stopped dead in my tracks, put down the brush and paint and walked away.
It was clear I was not wanted needed any longer.

I was quite proud of myself, 
I did the whole stint without feeling pain, or sorrow. 
It was fun to hear what these little people wanted to decorate their faces with....
what they fantasized about.

Two days after this, I went to take family pictures for a friend. 
She and I were trying to get pregnant at the same time 
(she was trying for a second child and I was still just trying)
She has an almost 2 year old and I am two years older. 

I was greeted with two more snotty kids, touching everything in sight
...I was being bombarded with boogers.

So it really should be no surprise that I got a SuPER cootie: 
sore throat, into stuffy head into fevers on and off for a couple of days.

Hubby has the starts of it now, and he was recounting who has the super cootie at his workplace
and became clear that we were doomed to get it.

I decided to not bitch about the ick I was feeling as I reflected on the fact I simply have to take care of me.
No one else requires my attentions, I don't have to drive anyone to school or make lunches or any of those motherly duties...
Instead I just had to get me out to the market to pick up makings for soup...
it was just me that had to make sure I took my fever reducer and cough drops...
it was just me that slept on the couch so hubby could sleep during my coughing fits and night sweats.
it was just me.


Nicole said...

i appreciate this post, because it really highlights both the highs and lows of not being a mom. it relieves the ways our lives are simpler and more sad/difficult all at once.

I am in a bit of a mope as I am approaching my 2 years since my cancer diagnosis and finding myself trying not to feel bitter about things. I feel like we are in the same mood/vibe probably now.

Thank you for being here and all your lovely, thoughtful posts.

Mali said...

I've returned from holiday and spent the last week with a nasty cold, and it's still hanging around. So I sympathise. And like you, was appreciative that for most of the time I could lie on the couch and catch up on movies/TV from when I was away.