Sunday, September 11, 2011

On this day

*I didn't want to write about this, but after meditating on why it became obvious I needed to*

I don't watch television or listen to the radio on this day...I don't like to remember this day.
This day was a devastating day for too many people (understatement)
and I don't like to relive it or be reminded of it.
It is not that I do not acknowledge it, or honor is simply too too painful still.
Five years ago in the early morning hours I was sitting on my Nana's bed, whispering into her ear, smiling with a brave face and taking deep breaths for her. She meanwhile was struggling to take her own air and was slowly slipping into her next journey...
I know she if fine, she told me so...but it still hurts.
10years ago I was working at a map company and my job RADICALLY changed from a simple customer service person, to a witness, a confidant, and a person of interest. I was thrown into the chaos of the day, all while trying to comprehend what was happening and terrified of the immediate hate that that would be set into motion. The simple interesting job that I had taken on a mere year beforehand was now all consuming in my dreams and thoughts.
This day set into motion several more years of nightmarish phone conversations
from strangers and officials.

I don't like to remember this day; not because I do not care, but because I care so so very much.

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