This answer was the hardest to swallow; in fact it took weeks to recover from.
The doctor told it to me strait, leaving out no detail or risk.
The route she outlined involved:
- more tests
- blood transfusions
- weeks of recovery
- chance of recurrence
- chance of miscarriages
- high risk pregnancy
- surgical delivery
She asked me the question that sent it all over the edge:
" So you have decided that you do not want to have a child"
I felt completely broken when I left.
I will always want a child, I feel that the fact that I need to make a choice between my desire to have a child and self preservation is not a fair question.
The struggle to save a sense of self is sometimes exhausting.
Sometimes it is almost too much.