Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The Island of The Barreness

I feel so very lonely.
I was recently contacted by some old childhood friends and was asked the common questions...the questions one asks when you have not seen each other in many many years.
I got the child question...mind you all these women have multiple children, have been married and divorced and remarried taken on new children.
I gave my little spew, answering as many questions as I could, before addressing the child questions. When I did I was straight to the point...."turns out I can grow all sorts of things but not babies" followed with, " no we are not adopting, it is not the right thing for us"

I have not heard from them since the email was sent over a week ago.

The Barreness has struck again, I have been further alienated from old friends. I wanted to talk to these women again, they sought me out...but now the same women that were eager to talk to me and catch up are silent.

I have two members of my extended family that were a childless couple struggling in a world of children. After many attempts they too were not able to conceive and maintain a child. I felt a silent kinship to them...they have just been delivered a child. An open adoption...a child is now theirs.

I feel so totally alone....such a barren island.

No comments: