Once again it has been a while since I have felt compelled to write here...I read your blogs and comment when I am moved to....but I haven't felt the need to blog here.
I am not sure why.
Distractions...that is what I will blame it on.
I have been battling a sour stomach for months now
...and I finally got tired of taking antacids and waking in the middle of the night from burning pain and so I went to the doctor.
She pushed here and there, asked what I was eating and I listed my boring list of food.
I listed my boring list of vitamins and supplements and she nodded.
I was not eating any "trigger food"
I was simply suffering all the effects of gastritis but there were tests that could be done.
So I did them,
including a long ultrasound session to examine my internal organs.
As the ultrasound technician moved the paddle slathered in ultrasound jelly over my belly...
she gave me the scenic view complete with narrative.
(I love this about her, she lets you know, without telling you, what she sees and doesn't see)
She showed me half my heart, I waved and said "hello heart".
Then on to the big guns: my liver and gall bladder and kidneys
She made comments like, boy these are boring nothing interesting here...
see if you had a fatty liver they would be different colors...
and these veins are hard to find when healthy...where are they?!
She made me giggle, even though I was so hungry and my stomach acid was almost unbearable.
All the results came in that I didn't have a super scary bacteria that causes ulcers and stomach cancers, and I had healthy organs.
All signs pointed back to gastritis.
I have since, reduced/eliminated my facebook time, and news time and social activism time.
I am stressed out...I am overwhelmed
I am feeling all of the responsibility of everything and for everyone...
I needed to step back.
I am blind in many ways...and it is because I need to take care of me.
It is not ideal, but I am finding that it is really important....so I grudgingly have submitted to it.
Ignorance is not bliss, but it is slowly reducing my stress and ideally reducing my longest and latest flareup episode for gastritis.
I am eating miso and soba noodles, no raw veggies (so strange!) and eating very small bits of food all day long...very slowly!
Most of my submission art is for fundraising, donated work...although I could really use some funds in the coffee can, this is my happy medium. Finding a stress free way to help others...quietly.
I still do my yoga practice three times a week and it is hard to believe that I am rounding into FOUR years of this!!
It is the longest and most I have ever stuck to some sort of social physical thing!
this is truly crazy!!
I learned a new mudra
( A mudra (/muˈdrɑː/; Sanskrit मुद्रा, "seal", "mark", or "gesture"; Tibetan: ཕྱག་རྒྱ་ THL chakgya) is a symbolic or ritual gesture in Hinduism and Buddhism. While some mudras involve the entire body, most are performed with the hands and fingers.) the yellow one:
Your Solar Plexus (Manipura) Chakra is the third Chakra located in your abdomen, above your belly button. It is the energy center responsible for personal power, self-esteem and confidence.
I have been using it while meditating as it seemed quite fitting for
both infertility and my current situation.
My meditation only last a few moments....I
have a monkey mind (constantly going, never really still)
so I do little sessions when I can....it helps too.
So I am finding that I am boring right now....
I am seeking adventure, but it seems I need to do a few boring things first,
like laundry and eat miso soup.