Friday, May 27, 2016

Politics, babies and my body

I'm here....
that latest round of colds, flus and colds hit this house hard....
and aside from some morning nausea I am back to "normal"

I am so fired up about maintaining my rights; the rights of  my nieces and nephews,
 that I re-registered so that I could vote in the primary here in the States.
I was registered with a party that would only allow me to vote party line.
I needed to change that.
I am so upset, and frustrated with the casual misogyny, hate speak, fear mongering and general shit talk that I chose to not sit idyll and instead do what I could to make changes.
 I normally don't talk politics and this is as far as I will go...
I am mad as hell and I am not going to take it any longer

I have two baby gifts in read to be packed up, as more people are preggers.
I would say I am pretty unfazed by it, but in all honesty, I haven't been around them while they are blossoming. What I did have a physical reaction to was a casual mention of an impromptu baby shower for a fellow artist...I felt my stomach clench and then race through the monologue of 
"I don't do baby showers, I am happy to send a gift but I am not going to attend"
I decided that, that event has WAY too many triggers for me and so I choose to avoid them....
like the boogie man!

My body:
I stumbled on this project and there is a whole section on fertility, here is one with a statement about the portrait subject:
As mentioned before, I am floating farther away from my sole identity as an infertile woman.
It is bittersweet...but I think a natural progression with age and peace. 
I have recently purchased a vintage photograph of a child.
It resonated in me when I saw it. 
So I bought it, and when it arrived I matted and framed it and added it to my personal altar. 
I allows me to see a manifestation of a child that makes me feel happy.
Like a moment from a daydream captured.
It has settled something in me.


Mali said...

I really really love this. You're showing that it is possible to feel joy, not pain, with children. In time. Brava!

nicole said...

SO SO with you on the political front! I'm so tired of the BS attacks on women and our rights.

And good on you to know what you can/can't handle. It's best to not force yourself into things like baby showers when you know it will cause pain.

I feel you too on the infertility thing. I find it becoming part of my story, but less of my identity. I think it does have to do with peace. I'm so glad you are finding yourself in that place. It's a nice one :)

Ruby said...

I sense you are following your gut, embracing your truth and claiming your power. And it is divine!