Thursday, February 12, 2015

Thankful Thursday-Personal Goals

OK I am first to admit my personal goals are sometimes small and seem REALLY silly,
Today I met a personal goal.
I am in the middle of my period week, 
usually a day I am laid up and under the influence of a pain pill and bad television. 
Instead this morning, I got up and went to yoga.
It turned out that we had a substitute and it was a really challenging class, and I made it through.
I was in no pain, panting yes, but I didn't bleed out of my clothes and in fact I feel pretty darn alright!

I was even able to do a real version of this pose....

it has taken about a year and a half...and I might have been a little closer to the floor.....
my string bean arms are learning that I mean business and I want to be able to do a real push up. 

yoga love

I know that it looks like no big deal, but I am someone who has NEVER been able to do a push-up or pull-up so this turns out to be a BIG deal for me.
I am also happy to report that The Barren is still at it...
he is in his second week of running and I am so so so proud of him! 
I am reclaiming my body, I am dropping the protective layers I had built for so many years!
I am fine, I am whole...and getting stronger everyday.
Even when I feel unstable or unsure, I am growing stronger and more sure.
My feet are firmly planted on the ground.

10 years ago today, our goddaughter was born, and I attended the birth.
Watching her take her first breath, 
while trying to breath between my own mind-numbing menstrual pain.
three days later I was in the ER with a 10mm corpus luteum and a doctor asking us if we were done making babies. Our goddaughter had always been a marker of the start of the downfall.

 Last night we gave her a gift and listened to her tell us her birthday plans.
I was not remembering the pain or the sorrow...
I was lost in her joy.

We are slowing looking at other versions of ourselves. 
We are trying new things with our bodies and re-thinking our self-imposed restrictions.
This weekend is the anniversary of the day we asked each other to marry each other.
I am so thankful that my vision was so clear to ask The Barren to marry me.
I am so thankful that we are taking this journey together.
I am so thankful that we are each others cheerleaders.
I am so thankful


Mali said...

I struggle with the knees/chest/chin move (still very much a beginner) so I'm very impressed with that pose. And I'm very glad that you are feeling so thankful.

nicole said...

Awesome!! That pose looks tough and doing proper push ups is a great goal! Glad to hear the Barren is still onto his running and that you are feeling so good about your body & reinventing yourself.