Friday, January 18, 2013

Along the bunny trail


So I am still hopping along this bunny trail.
I am working on being HAPPY.
Like the deep, real kind of happy, it sounds silly when I say those words like they don't really reflect the way I am working on changing my essence.
I do indeed feel daily that I am making choices to be happier.
 
I am able to let go of the small stuff A LOT easier
Example:
(cause what is the point of saying small stuff when you have no idea what is now small stuff to me)
I sell a little trinket locally to a shop that is smack dab in the center of the tourist zone.
Great gig, a little cash every month...
Well, she decided to close up shop and I only found out because I called to check stock.
She didn't call to let me know to pick up the final pieces.
That is my job I know, but it was strange.
Needless to say, normally I would be angry about how the shop-owner dealt with it and grieve that
I am now without this little extra cash.
Monies I use to enter art shows with or buy a splurge item.
 
Instead I wondered if it was worth it to still pound the pavement and distract myself with making these trinkets for tourists. One of the things I did was join a business group and I consulted a fellow shop owner, she responded so strongly that I should continue, that I made three times the amount of them (so I have plenty of stock) contacted a new shop and I am visiting today to try stock there.
I am also stopping by an additional shop to speak with their buyer.
I didn't let any of it stick...I just kept moving.
 
I also met with a fellow artist for lunch, I know her, but I don't KNOW her.
It was a new thing for me, I am being SOCIAL.
I had a wonderful experience and the reason for meeting was that we were exchanging artworks!
Remember that BIG art thing from December, my goal post surgery to attend.
Well she is also in that exhibit and she mentioned opening night that she was in love with an artwork she had seen of mine from last year and wanted to buy it. I was floored and flattered and then had a stroke of genius...and listened to that little voice saying "ask her "
I asked her if she would be willing to exchange artworks instead of monies?
I had this vision of our home being filled with works by my peers and how cool would that be!
Then The Barren and I could be like Herb and Dorothy except taller.
Much to my surprise she agreed.
I framed my work, she brought her painting and we now have each other on our collectors list.
During this lunch she pushed pretty hard for me to leave my "other job" and simply pursue my art full time plus...she gave herself as an example and how when she left her job her work and interest in her work tripled! I love that idea and want that too, but I have yet to figure out how that can done financially. I kind of got the impression that she is not a paycheck to paycheck kind of gal to begin with...so I listened and took all the good things, ideas and visions she shared with me.
She very much would like to do a show with me...I would LOVE that!
I left the lunch feeling like there was a fork in the road (this is that moment daily when you choose)
I had two very clear feelings:
              1. I am a little fish in a big pond with lots to learn and you are no where near your goals yet.
2. You have another artist who adores your work, she sees value in it and you are working in the right direction! Keep on working hard girl!
 
I chose the second path....it felt better.
 
Slowly everyday I am making choices and feeding my 40%
Some things are harder to let go of, and feel free from.
My SIL posted a little newspaper clipping about how childfree people should understand why friends with children have no time for them. And when they do, their friends might not be the first call or fourth call, so just get over it. They are raising other people and you are not.
I wanted to say something to her, like WOW this from a woman who claims family is everything yet NEVER calls to say hello, or sends a thank you card for any of the gifts, love tokens, school purchases, or general kindnesses that are sent her way or the way of her children. Way to teach !
She constantly talks about how important morals are to her and how she is teaching those to her children. Apparently thank you cards are not moral or proper enough.
Clearly you can see this upset me, and I weighed the pros and cons of holding it...and decided I am letting it go....It doesn't make me feel good and I will continue to do what feels good to me.
" How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours"
 
I am walking, and continuing to embrace my happiness, one little bit at a time.

**I am growing in some way, and I will do my best to not evangelize during the process...blogging is thinking out loud in many ways. Clearly if you find something I am doing beneficial to you, sweet!
Blind leading the blind.

6 comments:

Stinky said...

Like it, blind leading the blind. Love your thoughts on happiness and creativity, you seem to be living the dream (and yes, I have been reading for a while and yes, I know you have had a rocky last year too!). Letting it all go, good one, I tend to get stuck and resentful with stuff like that.

I love the idea of the artswap too.

Mali said...

Yay, I love the result of your lunch and progress with your artwork.

And I too am impressed that you can "let it go" as I think if my SIL had posted that, I wouldn't be so gracious. Still - as you say, it is all about her negativity and issues, not yours. (And I hear you on the whole thank you note thing. I wrote about that some time ago here (hmmm - "some time ago" = three years!) http://aseparatelife.wordpress.com/2009/10/05/thank-you/

Kristin said...

I think you are doing an amazing job pursuing the happy. I am impressed with all the effort you are putting into it (especially to keep from reacting badly to your SIL...that attitude would set me off).


ICLW #8 Dragondreamer's Lair

Rebecca said...

Hi from ICLW. Hope you make a lot of sales in your next show.

sharah said...

ICLW #55. I am so impressed with artists, especially ones like you who are committed to making it a career. It takes a lot of courage to leave a "real" job to do what you love. That kind of courage will lead you into success - just keep listening to that little voice!

Nicole said...

"am still hopping along this bunny trail.
I am working on being HAPPY.
Like the deep, real kind of happy, it sounds silly when I say those words like they don't really reflect the way I am working on changing my essence.
I do indeed feel daily that I am making choices to be happier."

What you wrote there is totally my current intention! Love this.

It sounds like you are doing an awesome job on making changes in your life and trying to not let the small things bug you. SO good. So proud of you!

And good job on being more social!! I am working on that as well and it sounds like you had a really positive awesome lunch! Hooray!

As for your SIL... well, oh my. That would upset me too, but it is one of those things where you have so little control over it, it is best to let it go.