Thursday, October 04, 2012

It is not what you think....

"You didn't drink enough water...your bladder is not totally full"
(pointing to dark circle on screen)
"I drank two 16oz glasses and a mug of tea...."
"it is OK, this will be fine."
The Barreness: " if I bring a DVD can you make a movie of this like you do for the others?"
Frank the dildo cam man:" well we normally only do it for pregnancies"
The Barreness: "Well, this is all I have"
Frank the dildo cam man: Silence, then ..." I don't see why not, sure bring one next time. Would you like a photo from today?"
The Barreness: " Yes please that would be wonderful, thank you"
You can clearly see the barnacle on my left ovary
that is needing all my attention
I am going to bring a DVD to my next appointment in 6weeks. He went thru the process like an automated man, it was clear that he has been an ultrasound tech for 30 years. He works in a fertility clinic, where he does a myrid of jobs with his ultrasound equiment and
 little ol' me was the hiccup in his day.
 I made sure not to drop it or scratch the surface while I visited the bathroom again before leaving for my drive to work. Although it appeared that I didn't have a full bladder at the beginning of the exam, I had to stop three times along my 40mile trip to work. I looked at the precious image every time I got into the car and each time I had a little vision of what it must be like to see a baby on that paper instead of my I-need-to-be-a-little-bitch-to-you ovaries. I sent the image to The Barren and although we both agreed it was super cool to have the image, it was also kind of sad.
I knew that in the long run I would regret not getting the image.
In the meantime I can forget it in a book or just kind of misplace it for a while...maybe.
At the present, I seem to be totally transfixed on the side by side images, wondering how something so small can rule so much of me. He wasn't able to get a good pic of the big girl (uterus) as she has a split personality and it harder to get to smile for the camera.


Wolfers said...

You're not alone- I had gone through that too last year with both vaginal ultrasound and sonogram. I knew I was not pregnant, but I used a few moments to pretend that I was pregnant as I looked at the video above me, instead of the huge fibroid, I thought I had seen a baby. A moment there, and I got a taste of what it was like for new mothers- and then I realized it was painful imaging- Cool, yet sad.

Nicole said...


Sigh. These doctor's appointments suck. Plain and simple. I am sorry you have to keep going through this... not fun at all.

Thinking of you and sending you good vibes!