Friday, March 30, 2012

Friday Funny

I needed a laugh and this fit the bill!
5 minutes of a laughter and carefree singing

Monday, March 26, 2012


Clarence White
American, 1871–1925
Blowing Bubbles, ca. 1900
Vintage cyanotype

I got the depression bubble to pop!
It took a GREAT DEAL of effort, I am not going to lie.
It got dark friends...real dark...I went to places I hadn't visited in a long time.
It was a scary walk through a quiet and dank place.

I even thought about calling my therapist, someone I haven't seen in almost two years; but she gave me the tools and I remembered them as I hung from my fingertips off that cliff.

I worked through it, and used words when questioned in my corner.
I allowed my hubby to see that I was struggling, and he knew what and where I was on my journey. I cried finally and figured out what I was so angry and sad about and then the bubble popped!
It felt so liberating and logical,
I didn't dismiss the process or the work.
It truly SUCKED

Saturday night I had a chance run-in with a collector of my work.
The first question he always has is "You making new work?!"  
I answered that I was trying.
....but as hubby and I were walking away he looked at me and said:
"you are always working on something, even when you are not using your hands, you are thinking of new things and brainstorming about others"

This was something I heard: louder then my mean destructive voices, stronger then the giggles The Barreness was whispering into my ear, and clearer then the dark humm of chaos.

Yesterday I spent in the studio, finally!
I took breaks for hugs from hubby
it was like having extra mortar added to my newly restored foundation.

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Fighting it all

So I am sure a few of you might have picked up on me fighting some blues these days...
maybe it is a post travel blues thing, maybe it is the creative slump I am in
whatever it is I am fighting it tooth and nail and
trying to find what the switch is and how to turn it in another direction.
The girls day was nice, but I felt so unbelievably lonely when the ladies all went home.
It was like my house was three times quieter and I was sitting there with plates of half eaten food, buzzing from 4 or more cups of tea.
Hubby was gone and I had no one to I left the house and went to wander.
I left he house in an effort to not sit in front of the tv and then hours later
 wonder " what have I been doing with my life?"
I went to the music store.
Yes, I still buy music from an independent music store, I buy whole CD's worth of music and I love LOVE cruising thru bins and aisles of music.
Thank goodness for the "music listening stations" or else I would buy music based on my aesthetic whims and
that has not turned out well in the past.

I bought two CD's I have been thinking about:
The Civil Wars

and the newest
 Radio Head
I am not totally in love with either yet.
but they are growing on me...

In the meantime I got three TOTALLY AWESOME hand mixed CD's from Nicole
I literally cried, I was so touched and excited. What a superhero that woman is!

This last Friday I got to have a date night with hubby. I took him out to dinner and then we were going to see a movie, but the movie we wanted to see got panned and we were not intoxicated enough to forgive that off so we skipped the film and ended up in the music store again.
This time we both spent a good bit of time finding little gems.
Hubby listens to a lot of metal; I can list his purchases if you are interested
We listen to a wide range of music to say the least
This time I bought these albums:
Foster the People

James Brown


I can say I am happier out the gate with these
For me, Music is good, it helps me in moods that I can not seem to control.
Like a scout, leading me through emotions that I either need to deal with or need to walk past.

Needless to say, I am still fighting my fight, but now I have a better soundtrack then my mean voices looping and trying to set me into a downward tailspin