Wednesday, May 18, 2011


I have never really dealt with the idea of PMS,
or maybe a better word is, acknowledged.

Before the whole IF nightmare began; I took great pride in the fact that no one really knew when I got my period.
I never talked about it, I was able to do anything I wanted whenever I wanted and it was a badge of honor for I often felt that women were dismissed because of it.
My hubby has an thing on his phone that keeps track of my cycle; he says that it is empowering to know where I am in my body. He wants me to feel the same about it.
Ugh, whatever....

Today though, today I have found myself working uphill to make anything happen.
I didn't want to get out of bed, I didn't want to get dressed.
I got dressed, I fed myself, I went to the garden and turned a water heavy pile of compost.
I came home and found that I just wanted to sit on the couch
watch stupid TV shows and eat the worst food for me in the house.

I am trying to not beat myself up about not being in the studio.
Not being productive
not being useful today.

I am suppose to get my period next week....but that is a whole week away!
I think I have PMS
OMG what has happened to me?!


Nicole said...

I was on the pill from 20-28 and essentially never had PMS because of that. I had a really irregular period as a teenager, from 13-17. 18-19 it became regular and I had terrible, terrible cramps and was a wreck, so hence why I went on the pill (and other convenient things that came along with it).

But man, since I have been off birth control, I get PMS now. I get cranky, tired, cramps even (still!) and headaches. I find it so annoying since I don't have a period even. I am on my menstrual week now, so I feel ya.

Let yourself sleep lots and take hot baths. It does sound like PMS. It can be as early as a week out. Mine varies a lot. And I agree, why does it have to start ever??? Such a pain. Don't be hard on yourself, just take time for you.


Kim said...

I'm so with you my dear friend. As if this month weren't bad enough, lovely Aunt Flo stuck around for 13(!) days beginning the morning of my BFN.

I say forgiveness is key. If you want to lay around watching bad tv and eating candy, go for it my dear. But instead of beating yourself up while you lie there, enjoy it and think to yourself "this is what I need right now". Sometimes junk food isn't good for the body, but it's somehow good for the soul. :o) At least that's my take.

I'm your irregular cycle sister... and sometimes it's "nice" to not have one for a good long time. But when she comes, it seems likes it's with a vengeance.

Take care of yourself today... lots of tender care. Throw a plate. *wink*

Sending you tons of love...

Stinky said...

Funny, Mr Stinky has tracked my cycle for longer than I have. Because I'm a raging hormonal mess, apparently.
I think sometimes hormones like to fuck with you so you think it should be PMT but its totally not.

I also think it changes over the years too. My cycles and pmt are different now to 10 years ago. Not worse, not better, just slightly shifted. Do you reckon thats happened to you?