Friday, April 22, 2011

I cried for you

I am feeling sentimental and kind of blue.
When I get that way I turn my thoughts to Paris.
I use to live in that city many years ago.
Not for a long time but for a sometime
an important time in my life.

When I get blue my first thought are of returning there and recapturing that romantic mood and time in my past. It was all mine, I was free in my mind, my soul and my heart. I had not known the heartbreak of a miscarriage or the loss of what I thought my future would hold.

Last night while work I was listening to this song and I was instantly transported and began to cry.
So many women talk of getting away after finding out about their infertility or having a miscarriage. I always fantasize about just that.

Taking an overnight flight, walking into a nice hotel and falling into a bed with crisp white sheets that overlooks a beautiful spot in the city. Sleeping, really sleeping... and feeling the down blankets cradle me and allow me to loose myself in that moment.
Then, awake and find myself wandering pre-dawn streets and smelling the bakeries and feel the cool autumn wind on my face....
last night this gave me no comfort, but merely had me crying.


Kim said...

I just adore Billy Holiday...

Something tells me we have so, so much in common. We are kindred spirits. :o)

I'm sorry you had such a cry the other night... you deserve so much comfort.

Nicole said...

i think there is something so comforting in the idea of waking up in a new city, in huge bed, sleeping and finding some distance from the sadness. like "please can i just run away and have a break?"

Hugs to you lady.