Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The real me

I tend to make grand changes when I decide to change...well I think this falls in line with that element of me.

I have decided to finally come clean....
In an effort to stop waiting, stop holding back, stop stuttering.

I am trying to get this into other venues around the US or world...I am showing this work to galleries so, why not show my sisterhood?!

See the image on the right?
click it and it links to my exhibit...
I have referred to it many times last year....but now you can see it for yourself.

I am revealing the real me

Friday, February 18, 2011

The long wait

I feel as though I am on the edge of taking a large leap and floating thru the sky never to land.
I said aloud the other day, "I am tired of my life being on hold"...in a strange holding pattern for pregnancy.
I am over 40, have no plans to have assistance in getting pregnant or becoming a mother; and am just now beginning to really see that I have been holding back.
Restraining myself most unconsciously.

After so many years of holding on, holding back and waiting.
Not eating this or eating that...thinking 9-15months ahead of time, wondering, planning, waiting.
Wanting to go here or there, do this or that, but knowing that I needed to be near a doctor or ER.
Saving money here or there not knowing when we might need it for a child or co-payment.
Everytime I moved a piece of furniture, or brought something new into the house wondering how long before I would have to move it out to make room for another person.

I am exhausted and disappointed in all this waiting and restraining.

I feel as though I am on the precipice of personal freedom
I am ready to jump out of the basket I have been carrying around that holds items I have gathered.
I am ready to LIVE again and stop waiting
I want to be free of my baby-hopes and restraints

Monday, February 14, 2011

How I spent my weekend

 I could not get past the first 5minutes of the movie Eat Pray Love,
so instead I spent my time doing something far more meaningful.

 I spent the whole weekend reading this AMAZING book from Lisa Manterfield
 Now you know I wear glasses sometimes and have twinkle lights up still.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

I don't have a lot to say....
I sent my first of what I hope to be many proposals out to a new gallery.
I am trying in my most professional way to convince other galleries that they should host my next show.
Here is what I am telling them:
I have created a series of highly personal images focused on my infertility, these images are intimate and reticent; I have explored what it means to be infertile in a child-centric world. Infertility has colored my thoughts, outlook and perception of the world around me. The inspiration for the show was not only the discovery of my own infertility, but the silence surrounding it. The theme is one that is relatable to a growing population and thought provoking for those affected by it either personally or through relationships.
It is a hard sell, "hey everyone come into a gallery filled with heartache and pain."
But when I get discouraged I remember that someone out there is not understanding how painful it is to live daily like this. I know it does something to a viewer, something quiet but pure.... after viewing my show many people told me that they saw things differently now.
That is what I am hoping to do, change the world.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

if anyone can find sperm art funny my sisterhood can!
snapped before the graffiti police removed it
(click to see detail)